Let’s take our Bibles together and turn to Proverbs 31. For the next two weeks, we’re going to look at the final collection of Proverbs, Collection VII. These verses are written by one King Lemuel, someone who we know nothing about (like Agur in 30:1). The name “Lemuel” means “belonging to God,” but Lemuel was not an Israelite king. He was instead (probably) a God-fearing, “proselyte to Israel’s faith.”

But the source for this last chapter of Proverbs isn’t really Lemuel; it’s his mama. And mama has some good things to say to her son. So good, in fact, that her son remembered it and wrote it down for posterity. 

And it’s great that we have this recorded content of a mother’s instruction for her son. We’ve spent the bulk of the last thirty chapters in Proverbs studying the words of a father to his son. Several times in Proverbs there are explicit statements from father to son (see e.g. 1:8; 5:1; 6:20; 19:27; 23:15; 27:11). 

But now, mama gets a chance to talk. And to her son’s credit, he listened to his mother. He assumingly responded to his mother’s instructions. This mother obviously had a profound influence on her son. That’s true for many sons in this room, including myself.  

 You know, it’s quite common in Christian circles to refer to the Proverbs 31 woman. When people say that they are typically referring to the “virtuous woman” or the “excellent wife” of verses 10–31. We’ll talk more about her next week. 

But there are actually two Proverbs 31 women. There’s the “excellent wife.” But there’s also Lemuel’s mother. We don’t even know her name. That’s pretty common for influential mothers throughout history. They don’t always get the credit they deserve for the way that they influence their children. And that’s okay. Moms don’t mother for notoriety. They do it because it’s a calling. But their influence is noticeable. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lemuel’s mother’s influence on her son was profound. And her counsel for her son basically revolved around three critical issues: 1) sex, 2) booze, and 3) money. She warns him of three dangers: 1) illicit sex, 2) inebriation, and 3) indifference towards those who are downtrodden. Let’s address those issues one at a time. 

First of all, sex. Lemuel’s mother challenges him to not give his strength to wayward women.

1) Don’t give your strength to wayward women (31:1–3)

Lemuel says in verse 1, 

1 The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him: 

Now just a nota bene here—that word for “taught” in Hebrew is a strong word. It’s the Hebrew יָסַר (yasar), which is typically translated “discipline” or “correct” or even “punish.” I’m sure that King Lemuel’s mother taught him when he was young, like all good mothers teach their children. Solomon told parents in 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” 

But what Lemuel’s mother is doing here is more than just teaching or training. She’s correcting her son. She’s rebuking him. She’s warning her grown son, as we’ll see in a moment.

And the essence of that is captured right away here in verse 2. Look at what she says.

2 What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows? 

Can you feel the urgency of these questions? Can you feel the rebuke of this mother stirring up inside of her? Something that this son has done has his mother apoplectic. And no son likes to hear this from his mother. 

Notice she calls him “son of my womb.” That’s mom’s way of saying, “I didn’t go through nine months of pregnancy and hours of agony giving birth to you so you can do these things!” Mothers have been known to say those kinds of things to their sons. 

And notice too, she calls him the “son of my vows.” What does that mean? It’s either a reference to her  marriage vows, or it’s a reference to the prayers she prayed before her son was born. Think Hannah when she “vowed a vow” before the Lord in 1 Samuel 1. 

If this is a reference to the vows that she exchanged with his father, then she’s calling him to account with that. They made vows to love each other and cherish each other and bring children into this world. She gave up a lot to marry and commit to motherhood. And so she’s expecting her son to live up to that. She’s laying it on pretty thick here!

And what’s she so amped up about? What’s junior been up to? Well, look at verse 3.  

3 Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. 

Aha, I see what’s going on here. Junior is misbehaving as king. Junior is letting his libido get the best of him. And mama says, “Get your sex-drive under control, son.” Not the conversation that any grown man wants to have with his mother. 

What was he doing? Well, we can speculate. The word for “strength” in verse 3 could be translated “vigor” or “ability.” It’s a euphemism for his sexual virility. 

Also “your ways” in verse 3 is also a euphemism for sexual intercourse. It’s a reference to his seed. What she’s asking him is this—why are you wasting your seed? Why are you using up your sexual energy on the wrong women? Why are you sleeping around with people you are not married to? 

And keep in mind too, that Lemuel is a king. If he was unmarried, he may have been sleeping around with women he didn’t intend to marry. He wouldn’t be the first king, or the last king, to do something like that. It’s possible that he may have even been visiting prostitutes. The end of verse 3 says, “those who destroy kings.” Is that a euphemism for prostitutes? Or is this a reference to the adulteress with her smooth words? We saw that temptress earlier in Proverbs (see 6:20–35; 7:1–27)? Any and all of these are possible. 

If Lemuel was already married, then this might be a warning against spending too much time with his harem. As a king, he conceivably had a harem. And the problem with a harem is that if you waste all your “strength” on your concubines, then how are you going to impregnate the queen? How are you going to assure yourself offspring who will perpetuate the dynasty? 

To be honest, there’s probably a little bit of self-interest in this rebuke by the Queen Mother. She wants a grandchild to sit on the throne and perpetuate her lineage. And if her son isn’t married, or if he’s off having sex with women without the security of marriage and vows, he’s putting the whole kingdom at risk.

And I think that’s where Proverbs 31, and the virtuous wife come in. I’m not going to get into this too much right now… I’ll save it for next week… but just look briefly at verse 10, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” 

Conceivably, this is still King Lemuel’s mother talking. And she is basically telling her son to stop messing around with all these women… stop wasting your sexual energy on prostitutes or having sex outside of marriage… Instead, he needs to grow up, find a wife, get married, and stop fooling around! 

I don’t know what Lemuel did after this rebuke from his mother. I don’t know if he ever responded to his mother’s rebuke and his mother’s counsel. The fact that he wrote down what she said on her behalf, leads me to believe that he eventually came to his senses. 

To all this, you might say, “What does this have to do with me, Pastor Tony? I’m not a king. I don’t have a harem. And I don’t need to procreate in order to keep my offspring on the throne?” 

Okay, but what’s transferable from this context applicationally to your own context? What’s the biblical expectation of you, as a Christian, that this passage reinforces? 

It’s this. If you are able to get married, get married. Get married to one person! Get married to a person of the opposite gender! Get married to one person, and stay married. If you are able to, have children. Children are a gift from the Lord. And don’t have sex with people you aren’t married to.

Let me say it this way, “Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you” (Prov 5:15–17).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Write this down as #2. Lemuel’s mother warns her son about sex, but she also warns him about booze. So she tells him…

2) Don’t waste your wits on intoxication (31:4–7)

Look at verse 4. 

4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink,

The word for “strong drink” in Hebrew is שֵׁכָר, which should probably be translated “beer.” Wine was the alcoholic beverage of choice for the Israelites. That’s because they had a lot of grapevines in that part of the world. The climate and the soil was conducive for grapes. 

The alcoholic beverage of choice in other places at this time was beer (especially in Assyria and its environs). Beer was produced by a process of fermentation involving wheat and barley. Archaeological evidence suggests that there was no hard liquor in the ancient world. And there were no hard drugs either. So the issue of intoxication and wasting your wits on intoxication has exponentially increased in our modern-day world.   

But there was still substance abuse in the ancient world. And that’s why Lemuel’s mother wants him to control his alcoholic consumption. Look at verse 5.

 5 lest they [kings!] drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. 

Let me just point out here that the Bible never explicitly forbids the consumption of alcohol. If you want to be a teetotaler, that’s fine. That’s the wisest course of action for many in this world. But that’s never directly commanded anywhere in the Bible. 

The commands concerning alcohol have to do with intoxication. The issue here is not consumption but inebriation. Why do kings need to avoid drunkenness? Because they need their wits. They have power. And they have an obligation to lead and shepherd their people. And an alcoholic king is bad for business. It’s bad for society. It’s bad for justice. 

It’s bad for the king too! There’s a cautionary tale in the OT about a king named Elah. He was king over Israel, but he got drunk once, and Zimri, one of his officials, assassinated him while he was in a drunken stupor (1 Kgs 16:8–10).

So drunkenness is bad for the king. Conceivably it’s bad for the king’s mother too! But she doesn’t address that directly here. She’s more worried about his kingdom and his leadership over it. She says, “You may get drunk and ‘forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted.’” Good for her. She’s worried about the people that her son rules over!

I was watching an interview yesterday with the University of Texas football coach, Steve Sarkesian. Some of you know that before he became the coach of UT, he was an offensive guru who was highly sought-after by many college programs. Yet while he was head coach of USC, he started drinking heavily, and it just about destroyed him physically, mentally, and professionally. Since then he has sobered up. He’s been open about his sobriety. And he’s gone on to have success at the highest level of college football. 

I read recently as well that five of our last eight presidents were teetotalers. George W. Bush’s battle to get sober was well publicized. Conversely Ulysses S. Grant’s alcoholism, and how that compromised his leadership as president, has been widely circulated.

Andrew Johnson, Abraham Lincoln’s vice president, showed up drunk to take his oath as the vice president. Six weeks after that, Lincoln was assassinated, and Johnson became president. 

Also Franklin Pierce, a forgettable president, was a raging alcoholic. Upon leaving the White House as president, he reportedly said, “There’s nothing left to do but get drunk.”

Is it okay for kings and rulers and presidents and football coaches to drink? Is it okay for Christians and pastors and religious leaders to drink? Yes, I think so. Jesus drank wine. Paul told Timothy to drink some wine to settle his upset stomach (see 1 Tim 5:23). Wine had its place in the Jewish Passover. And wine has its place in the NT taking of communion. So we need not demonize it. 

But the dangers of intoxication, and even worse, the dangers of addiction, are real. And the people who are affected by intoxication aren’t just the alcoholic. Your drinking doesn’t just affect you; it affects others. Don’t take it from me. Take it from Lemuel’s mama. Who is she worried about in verse 5?

5 lest they [the kings!] drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. 

Now look at verse 6. This is a tricky verse, and we need to be careful how we interpret this. This is a descriptive text, not a prescriptive text. 

6 Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress; 

7 let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. 

I don’t think King Lemuel’s mother is advocating this as a matter of public policy. And I don’t think we should pass out booze at the homeless shelter or the local hospital. That would be unwise. 

What is she saying here? Well, she’s hyperbolizing sarcastically. She’s creating a contrast between her son, the king, and the people who are perishing and dying. Her son is in the prime of life. He’s a leader. He’s a king. He’s not afflicted; he’s the most powerful man in the kingdom. He needs his wits to lead effectively. 

Listen, we don’t have any kings here at our church. We don’t have any presidents or rulers either… not that I know of. But you know what we do have? We have moms and dads with the power to change the world. I’m not exaggerating. I’m not hyperbolizing like Lemuel’s mother. 

Moms and dads you are raising up the next generation of Jesus followers. And they have the power to impact eternity. They have more power, in some ways, than kings in the ancient world. So lead them well. Love them, and guide them, and don’t let your wits be compromised by alcohol or drug addiction. 

I know people whose lives have been devastated by the substance abuse of their parents. Don’t you do that! Don’t you do that to your kids. And if you need help with substance abuse, come and talk to us, and we’ll get you help.  

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Write this down as #3. Here’s a third piece of advice that Lemuel’s mother gives him. And this is more admonition and less prohibition. She says essentially…

3) Speak up for those who can’t speak for themselves (31:8–9)

Look at verse 8, 

8 Open your mouth for the mute

That reference to “the mute” is probably metaphorical. She’s not telling him to speak up for those who can’t speak at all. She’s telling him to speak up for those who can’t get a hearing. He’s to speak up for those who can’t speak for themselves. 

8 Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. 

Literally “destitute” in Hebrew is “the sons of those passing.” Lemuel is a son of privilege. Lemuel is the son of a king and queen. He’s been given every good thing since youth. And because of that, his mother says, “Son, speak up for those who aren’t sons of privilege! Speak up for those who don’t have your advantages in life.” 

In his commentary on this passage, Allen Ross writes, “It is the responsibility of the king to champion the rights of the poor and the needy, those who are left desolate by the cruelties of life (see 2 Sa 14:4–11; 1 Ki 3:16–28; Pss 45:3–5; 72:4; Isa 9:6–7).”

Listen, there is such a thing in this world as noblesse oblige. There is an expectation of nobility and those who are educated and wealthy to protect and care for those who are less fortunate than them. 

Jesus said to whom much has been given, much will be expected (Luke 12:48). Lemuel’s mother, likewise, is saying, “You’ve been given much, son, use your power to help the less fortunate.”

Look at verse 9. 

9 Open your mouth

The Hebrew for verses 8 and 9 is פְּתַח־פִּ֥יךָ (pataḥ pika). “Open your mouth.”

 9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.

“Open your mouth, Lemuel. Speak for those who can’t speak for themselves. Defend the cause of the fatherless and the widow. Judge the rights of the destitute. Defend the rights of the poor and needy.”

This is the Hebrew equivalent of that great adage, “With great power comes great responsibility.” And Lemuel was challenged by his mother to do right by those who are in need in his kingdom.

Part of the reason that I think Lemuel’s mother was being sarcastic in verses 6 and 7 is because she does care about the poor and needy in verses 8 and 9. She doesn’t just want them to drink themselves to death. And she doesn’t want them to drink away their sorrows. She actually cares about them. She wants her son to defend their rights!

And as Duane Garrett notes, the queen mother doesn’t give Lemuel political advice on how to build up his treasury or on creating monuments to his reign or on establishing a dominant military power. “For her the king’s throne is truly founded on righteousness.” In other words, she’s saying to Lemuel, “Be a righteous king, son. Be righteous!” 

Now, how does this apply in our modern day world? Let’s just think about this for a moment. You might say, “I’m not a king, Pastor Tony, and I don’t have the power to defend the rights of the poor and needy.” 

Okay, I get that. But we as Christians have always been a benevolent people. I think that goes back to the Hebrew Scriptures and what I would call the Judeo-Christian ethic of caring for widows and orphans and people who are down on their luck. We can all play a part in that. We even have this gift of the Holy Spirit called “mercy” which Christians have used to good effect for centuries (see Rom 12:8). 

 Listen, one of the best kept secrets, that the media will never tell you about, is that Christianity has been really good for the world. Where Christianity and Judeo-Christian ethics have prevailed, civilizations have thrived. 

 A few years ago I read a book entitled How Christianity Changed the World by Alvin Schmidt. If you’ve never read that book, you should, if for no other reason than to counter the historical revisionism that’s so common in our day. In that book, Schmidt describes how Christianity, as a faith that produces good deeds and acts of mercy, has changed our world for the better. 

 For example, 1) Christianity has helped to elevate sexual morality. In the Roman Empire, sexual immorality was rampant. And the spread of Christianity helped change that. 2) Also Schmidt shows how Christianity has helped women receive freedom and dignity in times and in places where women didn’t have freedom and weren’t respected or afforded dignity. 3) Christianity has helped in the creation of hospitals and the expansion of health care. 4) Christianity has worked tirelessly to abolish slavery whereas other religions and other groups couldn’t have cared less. 5) Christianity has worked to establish labor and economic freedom. 6) Christianity has helped to elevate the sanctity of human life. 

 Schmidt talks in one chapter of his book how infanticide was normative in the Roman Empire, especially for baby girls. Oftentimes families would just throw their unwanted babies in the garbage or leave them on trash heaps for dead. And it was the Christians of the Roman Empire who would adopt these abandoned or discarded children and raise them as their own. Also it was the Christians who worked to outlaw the gladiator sports in the Roman Empire and other similar infringements on the sanctity of human life. 

Schmidt writes in one chapter about how compassion for the sick and the stricken was basically unknown in the ancient Greco-Roman world. In some cultures, “the sick and needy were viewed as odious to the gods and the wealthier members of society were prevented from giving benevolence.” It was beneath them. And yet that’s where the Christians came in and showed a different way, a way of compassion and grace and mercy and kindness to the weak and the downtrodden.

Now why am I telling you this? I’m telling you this because I don’t want any of you bamboozled into thinking that modern-day secularists invented compassion. Or believe the lie that Christianity is a selfish, hateful, unkind religion. It’s not. 

Historically that wasn’t the case, and even in our own day there are statistics that have proven that born-again Christians are some of the most generous people in the world. It’s part of our heritage. It dates back to the earliest years of Christianity when the church began sharing their possessions with one another (see Acts 4:32–37). In fact it dates back to the Hebrew Scriptures where Yahweh told his people to take care of the fatherless, the widow, and the foreigner among them (see e.g. Exod 22:21–25; Deut 10:18; 14:28–29; 24:17–19).

I heard Tim Keller tell this story once. He had a friend, a professor, who worked in Africa to fight for women who have been victimized by genital mutilation (what some people call female circumcision). And this woman was an Atheist and a Darwinist. And she openly admitted that, as an Atheist and a Darwinist, she had no rational basis for her fight against the practice of female genital mutilation. But still she thought it was wrong. 

Why did she have no rational basis? Because the nature of Darwinism is “only the strong survive” and “the strong eat the weak.” And since she doesn’t believe in God, she has no rational basis on which to declare the practice of another culture wrong. Yet she does it anyway because there’s something inside of her that says, “That’s not right.” Something deep down inside of her identifies that practice as wrong. It’s understandable. She has a conscience. She’s made in the image of God. And her Darwinism and her Atheism can only mask that for so long.

But Christians, on the other hand, have a warrant from God that says, “let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (Matt 5:16). They have been commanded to “do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith (Gal 6:10).” And because of that Christians have led the way in ministries of compassion throughout the last twenty centuries. 

Christians are the ones who have brought an end to slavery and infanticide. They have labored to end evil practices like female genital mutilation in Africa and widow-burning in India and foot-binding in China and the gladiatorial games in ancient Rome. Where Christianity spreads, good things follow. That’s not prosperity gospel. That’s just a fact. 

Now why am I telling you all this? Well I’m not telling you this so that we can pat ourselves on the back and say, “We’re so awesome as Christians!” I tell you this so that you can embrace your Christian heritage... in fact, go farther back than that… embrace your Judeo-Christian heritage. Ministries of mercy and compassion and benevolence have always been our thing. In fact, they are the outworkings of the precious gospel that we hold dear. 

And why is that the case? Why are we, as Christians, merciful towards others? Well, it’s really quite simple. The reason is because God was merciful towards us first. 

1 Peter 1:3 – “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.”

Titus 3:5 – “[God] saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit…”

Ephesians 2:4-5 – “But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ.”

Hebrews 4:16 – “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And let me elaborate on that point a bit as we close. Let’s talk about the mercy of God, but let’s talk about it in the context of a king, the poorest king who ever lived. A king who was rich, yet for your sake became poor, so that we “through his poverty might become rich” (2 Cor 8:9).

King Lemuel’s mother warns him about illicit sex, inebriation, and indifference towards those who are suffering. But what if I told you that a king came into this world, and instead of having his way with women and exploiting them for his own advantage, he actually healed them of diseases. He loved them and they loved him back. And he never sexually compromised them at all. They were completely safe and secure in his presence, even though he was the most charismatic leader and teacher who ever lived. 

And what if I told you that this religious leader who literally had the power to change water into wine, yet he never got hooked on his own product. He never used that power to elevate himself. He was accused of being a glutton and wine-bibber, but in actuality he was the epitome of self-control and sobriety. So much so that he actually won over gluttons and drunks and tax-collectors to a sin-defying lifestyle.

And what if I told you that there is a king who not only speaks up for those who can’t speak for themselves, he actually took the rightful punishment for the sinners he was called to shepherd. He died on a cross for our sins, and his blood speaks a better word, initiating a new and better covenant with God the Father. 

And after dying and being raised from the dead, he sits at the right hand of God the Father interceding on their behalf. He says to God the Father on behalf of the poor and needy and helpless, they belong to me. My death has paid the penalty for their sins. They are forgiven.

Let me just let you in on a secret. King Lemuel may have been a good king. He may have taken everything his mother told him and put it into practice perfectly. But even if that’s true, he was still a flawed, imperfect king. And there’s only one King that is worthy of your ultimate allegiance. One OT theologian said it this way: “Jesus [is] the kind of king that King Lemuel’s mother wanted Lemuel to be!”

He’s the one who…

9 Open[s] [his] mouth, judge[s] righteously, [and] defends the rights of the poor and needy.

And that king—King Jesus—is coming back again soon.