Let’s take our Bibles together and turn to Proverbs 20:1–30. Last week, in Proverbs 19, I told you that “God’s Wisdom gives us the wherewithal to navigate the complications of life.” And that’s true. And when God’s wisdom is absorbed and enacted in your life, it helps you avoid stupid behavior. In other words, God’s wisdom helps you to navigate difficult terrain, but it also helps you to avoid shooting yourself in the foot. 

Proverbs 20 is about shooting yourself in the foot. Let me give you some advice—don’t do that. Proverbs 20 is about living your life in such a way that evinces wisdom and character and discernment. Proverbs 20 is about “Fearing Deity & Defying Stupidity” with an emphasis on defying stupidity. Proverbs 20 is about puzzling out those problematic, self-destructive aspects of life and working like crazy to avoid them. 

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Let me frame it this way. Let me give you, “Six necessities for sidestepping disaster in your life.” Let’s work through these. Here’s the first.   

1) Self-control (20:1–3) 

The NT word that would encapsulate verse 1 is “sober-mindedness” (see Eph 5:18; 1 Thess 5:6; 1 Tim 3:11; 1 Pet 1:13; 4:7; 5:8). We might use the word temperance. And that’s because…

1 Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise. 

Now there was no term for alcoholism in the ancient world, but there were alcoholics in that day. And they knew the dangers of alcohol as well as us. And we understand that strong drink is like a loaded gun. When used appropriately, it’s a good thing. When misused or used by a fool for foolish purposes, it can be dangerous. 

Notice that there is no call to abstinence or teetotaling in relationship to these beverages. The Bible never really embraces that as an ethic. But the Bible does denounce drunkenness (see Gal 5:21; Eph 5:18). And the better way for Christians is “self-control.” 

Look at verse 2. 

2 The terror of a king is like the growling of a lion; whoever provokes him to anger forfeits his life. 

There is self-control with drink. And now we have self-control with the authorities. There is such a thing, even in our day, as “law and order.” The opposite of that is chaos and anarchy, which some people seem to be advocating for. Let me say for the record, young people who break the law in our country or flout the authorities should be punished. 

You might say, “Well sometimes the authorities in our world, Tony, are corrupt.” That’s true. And that’s been true for centuries. Welcome to humanity! 

And if you’re waiting for the Perfect King to rule the world, you’re going to have to keep waiting. And remember what I said last week about the Perfect King to come. He’s coming. And don’t be misled about him. “He is not a tame lion.”

Look at verse 3.  

3 It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling. 

“I can’t help myself, Pastor Tony. I just love to argue.” Okay well life is different than your high school debate team. There are times when you’ve got to swallow your strongly held opinions for the health of your relationships with others. 

Let me just cast this in the context of marriage. If you chase down every disagreement… if you recriminate every slight… if you fight every possible battle with your spouse, you will not have a healthy marriage. Quarreling is a sport that is played in the Divorce Olympics. You don’t want to be good at that sport. We need self-control.

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Let’s puzzle out some more about life. Here’s a second necessity for sidestepping disaster. There’s self-control. There’s also…

2) Integrity (20:4–11)

D.L. Moody said once, “The best way to show that a stick is crooked is not to argue about it or to spend time denouncing it, but to lay a straight stick alongside it.” We as Christians should be men and women of integrity. We should be showing the world what God-honoring character looks like.

And sometimes integrity costs us something. That’s often the case in our modern-day world. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t share with you the benefits of integrity too. We don’t do the right thing because it’s easy or it’s convenient, but sometimes the right thing is advantageous to our lives. Solomon gives us some examples here. 

Look at verse 4.

4 The sluggard does not plow in the autumn; he will seek at harvest and have nothing. 

In other words, the sluggard is looking for something that he never made possible in the first place! By now it should go without saying that men and women of integrity work hard and avoid laziness. But I’m going to say it anyway: “Christians need to work hard and avoid laziness.” 

As Solomon describes the sluggard here, he once again gets comical. He doesn’t plow in the autumn, but somehow expects to have a harvest. Or maybe he’s trying to mooch off someone else who did some harvesting. 

And this is the opposite of the guy who buried his hand in the dish but was too lazy to bring it back to his mouth (19:24). Now we have someone who doesn’t even bury his hand in the dish, because there’s no food there, and he wonders why he’s hungry! It’s laughably ridiculous. But then again, so is laziness. Then again, so is state-sponsored wealth fare that incentivizes laziness. That’s ridiculous too!

In ancient Israel, you would plow and sow when it was cold outside. That’s painful. And there’s no immediate return on that work investment. You’ve got to wait for the sun and the rain and the ground to do its work. Then you harvest. But if you don’t do the hard work at the beginning, don’t be surprised when you have nothing of substance at the end.  

Look at verse 5.

5 The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. 

6 Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find? 

This is the ancient equivalent to “talk is cheap.” This is the ancient equivalent to “the proof is in the pudding.” Even in the ancient world you would have people who talked a big game, but didn’t have the wherewithal to back it up.

Speaking of talking a big game, remember what Peter said the night before Jesus died? “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will” (Matt 26:33, NIV). Peter was so cocksure about his loyalty to the Lord, that is, until the cock crowed that ominous night. Peter got to true loyalty eventually, but his heart had to catch up with his mouth.

Look at verse 7.

7 The righteous who walks in his integrity— blessed are his children after him! 

The Hebrew word translated “integrity” in verse 7 is the word תֹּם (tōm). It means “blameless” or “innocent.” The animals that were chosen for sacrifices in ancient Israel had to be תָּמִים (tā·mîm), a derivation of this word. Those animals had to be unblemished and without defect. 

I know that there’s no such thing as a perfect person in this world. Paul goes to great lengths in the book of Romans to show that “all have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory” (3:23). But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a Christian concept of integrity. That doesn’t mean there isn’t a Christian virtue called character. Men who know God and love God and who have been transformed by the grace of God walk with integrity. And they bless their children. “God give us more of those kinds of men!” 

And here’s some incentive for you, men… “Blessed are his children after him.” You can give your kids lots of great things. You can give them a top-notch education. You can buy them all the latest gadgets, toys, and books. You can get them coaching and counseling and prepare them for the SAT. But if you really want to bless your children, bless them by living a life of integrity. 

Look at verse 8.

8 A king who sits on the throne of judgment winnows all evil with his eyes. 

By the way, it’s understood in verse 8 that this king is a “good king.” Bad kings tolerate and empower evil. They steal, murder, and commit atrocities, and they reward those who do likewise. Good kings, though… good political leaders… don’t tolerate evil. They reward good.

I read a commentator this last week who said that the ideal of this verse has never happened in human history. I think he’s right. And we still await a king who does this.

9 Who can say, “I have made my heart pure; I am clean from my sin”? 

Now Solomon sounds like Paul in the book of Romans. Now Solomon gets real with us. Yes, there is such a thing as integrity and righteous living. And yes, there are good kings in this world. But nobody’s perfect. And one of the aspects of integrity is owning your own shortcomings and not pretending like you are God’s gift to humanity! Or that you are “holier than thou”!  

By the way, without Christ, the answer to verse 9 is nobody ever. Who can say… “I am clean from my sin?” Answer: Nobody can. But with Christ and his cleansing work, let me ask that question again. “Who can say… ‘I am clean from my sin?’” Answer: I can. In Christ, I can say that!

By the way, do you know why the OT is so good? Do you know why those who only read the NT or only preach from the NT have a truncated understanding of the gospel? It’s because the OT gives us so much by way of law and morality and sin aversion. We would be morally bankrupt as a society without the OT. We need it. 

But the OT shows us the massive failures in humanity. We can’t, no matter how hard we try, be perfectly law-keeping, perfectly moral, or perfectly sinless. We need help. And help came in the form of a Savior. And so now we can say, “I am clean from my sin!”

10 Unequal weights and unequal measures are both alike an abomination to the Lord. 

Literally what the Hebrew says here is “stone and stone; ephah and ephah, an abomination to the Lord are both alike.” I translated that this week and I said, “What in the word does that mean?” It’s a Hebrew idiom, that the Israelites would pick up on immediately, but we are left scratching our heads. 

But there is a clue as to what this means in Deuteronomy. Deuteronomy 25:13–16 says, “You shall not have in your bag two kinds of weights [literally: ‘stone’], a large and a small. You shall not have in your house two kinds of measures [literally: ‘ephah’], a large and a small. A full and fair weight you shall have, a full and fair measure you shall have, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. For all who do such things, all who act dishonestly, are an abomination to the Lord your God.”

Ostensibly there were merchants in Israel who were guilty of sleight of hand dishonesty. They’d use a light stone when it benefitted them, and then they’d swap it out for a heavy stone when that was more beneficial to them. We have a word for that in English, we call it “fraud.” And Solomon here says, “fraudulence [i.e. lacking integrity in business practices] is an abomination to the Lord.”

Look at verse 11.

11 Even a child makes himself known by his acts, by whether his conduct is pure and upright.

 If this is so for children, how much more so for adults? It’s typically easy to discern a child’s heart. Parents can smell a rat with their children a mile away. Their actions will show their hearts. It may be harder to discern that with an adult. Adults are better at hiding things and deceiving people. But eventually the truth will come out. 

I had a good Christian brother tell me once, “Tony, truth and time walk hand in hand.” Eventually the truth will out itself. And he said, “You just do the right thing, and let God take care of the rest.” You do the thing that integrity requires, and leave everything else to God.

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Write this down as #3. Christian, you need self-control. You need integrity. You also need…  

3) Discernment (20:12–19)

Verse 12 says as follows.

12 The hearing ear and the seeing eye, the Lord has made them both. 

In other words, the one who made our faculties of seeing and hearing can see and hear even better than us! He’s omnipresent, omniscient, and omnipotent. 

13 Love not sleep, lest you come to poverty; open your eyes, and you will have plenty of bread. 

14 “Bad, bad,” says the buyer, but when he goes away, then he boasts. 

One of the topics that’s threaded throughout the book of Proverbs is good business practices. And business can oftentimes be a murky world filled with shades of gray. 

Is it good to haggle and negotiate a price? Is it dishonest? I don’t think verse 14 says one way or another on that. What it’s telling us is, “Don’t get swindled by a smooth-talking, forked-tongue carnival barker.” In other words, “Be discerning.” When you go to a used car lot, don’t look like a mark. Know your budget. Do your homework. And negotiate like crazy for the optimal deal. 

Speaking of doing your homework. Look at verse 15.

15 There is gold and abundance of costly stones, but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel. 

16 Take a man’s garment when he has put up security for a stranger, and hold it in pledge when he puts up security for foreigners. 

In other words, don’t cosign loans for strangers. And don’t make bad deals with people who are an unknown commodity. More good business practices here! 

Look at verse 17.

17 Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a man, but afterward his mouth will be full of gravel. 

That’s quite an image right there. Bread turned to gravel in your mouth; that’s bread gained by deceit! Are you tempted to cut corners at work? Are you tempted to hard-sell someone a bad product? Are you tempted to fudge figures on your taxes? Are you tempted to cheat time from your employer? You better watch yourself. Because bread gained by deceit might be sweet at first, but afterward…

You might say, “O Pastor Tony, I know some people who got rich by deceit and they’re doing alright for themselves.” Careful, though. There are many ways that God can turn riches into a mouth full of gravel. Sometimes it’s by poverty. Sometimes it’s by discontent. Believe me when I tell you, “God will not be mocked; a man will reap what he sows” (Gal 6:7).

I honestly think it’s going to be harder and harder for Christians to maintain integrity in the workplace as our country drifts farther and farther from God’s principles. We used to take his principles for granted. They used to be part of the warp and woof of our society. But that’s changing fast. And you are going to have to be the anomaly in many work environments, not the norm. But God will take care of you. You do the right thing.

Look at verse 18.

18 Plans are established by counsel; by wise guidance wage war. 

19 Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler. 

Let me combine these last two verses into one overarching principle. Be careful of the company you keep. That includes your counselors. That also includes your friends.

Every good king needs good generals. David had his Joab. Julius Caesar had his Mark Antony. Abraham Lincoln had his Ulysses S. Grant. Good counsel is essential to waging war. And good counsel is essential to establishing good plans in life. A man who is too brilliant and too proud to receive counsel from others shouldn’t be praised. He should be pitied. 

So be discerning in your relationships. Surround yourself with good counselors. But stay away from babblers and gossips. Allen Ross says the following about this verse, “If a person is willing to talk to you about others, he will be willing to talk to others about you.” You want people in your life who love you and tell you the truth. You don’t want people in your life who are loose-tongued busybodies. 

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Write this down as #4. Here’s another thing you need for sidestepping disaster. You need…

4) Maturity (20:20–22)

Look at verse 20.

20 If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in utter darkness. 

Verse 20 is an extension of the fifth commandment. Children are told to “Honor your father and your mother” (Exod 20:12). Let me just state the obvious here—if you curse your father or mother, you are not honoring them. 

Look, I know some of you come from tough backgrounds. And some of you had messed up parents growing up. Listen, you don’t have to like your parents. You don’t have to obey them once you leave the house. You don’t have to go visit them at every holiday. But you do have to honor them. And if you are a kid in the home, you have to make it work until you are able to support yourself.  

21 An inheritance gained hastily in the beginning will not be blessed in the end. 

Parents, do you want to help your kids mature? You want to help them grow up healthy and secure? Don’t give them too much too fast. 

Some parents are abusive and abrasive with their children. Some parents are overly indulgent. They give their kids too much. They enable bad habits. And they don’t teach their children to work. And that’s why you have rich kids in rich schools in America rioting about things they don’t understand and pretending that they are oppressed. I blame the kids for that. I blame the parents for that. I blame the government for that too.  

I said this before, let me say it again, “Kids that get too much too fast without having to work for it get messed up.”

22 Do not say, “I will repay evil”; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you. 

There is such a thing as delayed gratification. There is also such a thing as delayed vindication. One of the signs of immaturity is a chronic need to fight every battle and retaliate after every offense.

Tell me if you’ve heard this before. “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense” (19:11) That’s so good, it should be in the book of Proverbs!

Tell me if you’ve heard this before too. “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord’” (Rom 12:17–19).

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Write this down as #5. This fifth word is going to sound like some of the others, but that’s okay. There’s going to be some cross-pollination with these concepts. You need…

5) Piety (20:23–28)

“What’s the difference between piety and integrity, Pastor Tony?” Well, piety is more explicitly God-centered. Piety is right conduct that is generated from God-fearing. And I want God-fearing to be part of this fifth point, because look at the number of mentions of “the Lord” in verses 23–28. He’s mentioned in verse 23. He’s mentioned in verse 24. He’s alluded to in verse 25. And he’s mentioned again in verse 27.

And here’s what pious God-fearing looks like. Look at verse 23.

23 Unequal weights are an abomination to the Lord, and false scales are not good. 

There’s that “stone and stone” language again. Here’s a heavy stone, here’s a light stone. This is something the Lord abominates.

When I was a server in college, I had this fellow server who used to manipulate the gratuities for customers. He found a way to change the computer system to show “15% tip” on the check, but then he would change the amount to be something closer to 20%. And I told him, “Dude if you get caught, you’re going to get fired. Because eventually, you’ll have a customer who actually knows how to calculate 15% on their check.” He wasn’t worried and said that he had done this for years and had never gotten caught. 

But even if that were true, still…  

23 Unequal weights are an abomination to the Lord, and false scales are not good.

Look at verse 24.

24 A man’s steps are from the Lord; how then can man understand his way? 

“No way, Solomon. ‘I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.’” Are you now?

25 It is a snare to say rashly, “It is holy,” and to reflect only after making vows. 

In other words, don’t make rash vows before the Lord. The great example of this is Jephthah who stupidly and unnecessarily made a vow to the Lord about his daughter, which he came to regret bitterly later (Judg 11:29–40). 

This is not a perfect parallel, but this verse is akin to Jesus’s statement, “Let your yes be yes and your no be no.” In other words, “Don’t swear by heaven… or swear on the temple … or swear in God’s Name… or swear on the grave of your great aunt Bertha.”

Solomon says elsewhere in Ecclesiastes, “When you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for he has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you vow. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay” (5:4–5). In other words, let your vows be few. Don’t make vows that you don’t intend to keep. It’s better for you to not vow than for you to vow and not follow through with it.

So, let’s get practical here. Don’t make vows in wedding ceremonies you don’t intend to keep. Don’t sign contracts you don’t intend to honor. Don’t shake peoples hand and give people your word, and then back out. It’d be better if you didn’t give your word in the first place.

Remember Jesus’s parable about the two sons? The father asks his two sons to complete a task. The first son says he won’t do it. But then he does it. The second son promises to do it, but then doesn’t do it. Jesus asks, “Who did the father’s will?” It was the first son, not the second (Matt 21:28–32). So if you make a vow, follow through with it. If you make a promise, make it happen, or else don’t make a promise. Solomon, as a corollary principle, is saying here, “Don’t make rash vows.”

Look at verse 26.

26 A wise king winnows the wicked and drives the wheel over them. 

“Yes, Lord. Give us political leaders who will drive over wicked people!” In Israel, one of the ways that you would winnow wheat is with a wheel. You would use a wheel to crush the husk and then separate wheat from chaff. A good king separates wheat from chaff. A good king gathers the wheat into the barn and gathers up the chaff in a bundle and burns it. I seem to remember a parable where Jesus says he’ll do something like that at the end of the age (see Matt 13:24–43). He’ll punish the wicked and send them to hell, and he’ll gather his own into his eternal kingdom. 

“Pastor Tony, you mean that meek and mild Jesus is going to come to the world and judge those who defy him?” Yes, I do. So you better be ready for that! The good news is that you can get on the right side of eternity and Jesus’s favor right now. 

Don’t worry about getting on the right side of history as the people in this world define it. Those people don’t understand history, and they don’t understand eternity either. Forget about getting on the right side of history, and get on the right side of eternity.  

 And here’s one final reference to Yahweh in this section. Look at verse 27.

27 The spirit of man is the lamp of the Lord, searching all his innermost parts. 

This is a little cryptic, but let me explain it as best I can. In other words, Solomon is saying that a man’s innermost parts, including his metaphysical innards, his very soul, is illuminated by the Lord. He’s got access to all of it. And he knows whether we are sincere in our faith. He knows our deepest sins. He knows our worst secrets. So there’s no outwitting the Lord. You might bamboozle someone else. You can’t bamboozle Yahweh! He knows everything. 

For those of you who know God and love God, that’s not a problem. You are comforted by the fact that God knows you better than you know yourself. For those who don’t know God or try to hide from God, this verse is terrifying. And it should be. There’s nowhere to hide. There’s no fooling God.

Look at verse 28.

28 Steadfast love and faithfulness preserve the king, and by steadfast love his throne is upheld. 

The best kings and queens throughout the centuries are the ones who served the longest, grew the most, and stayed faithful to the people they ruled over. 

The key words in verse 28 are חֶסֶד (ḥě·sěḏ) and אֱמֶת (ʾěměṯ). These are the “grace and truth” words of the OT. Or as the ESV renders them here, “steadfast love and faithfulness.” And that steadfast love and faithfulness is not just demonstrated by the king towards his subjects. It is also demonstrated by the king towards his God. Every king in the OT is assessed based on one simple criterion—did he do what was right in the eyes of the Lord or not? In other words, was he pious or was he not? That’s how Yahweh judged the kings.

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Finally, write this down as #6. Christian, you need self-control, you need integrity, you need discernment, you need maturity, you need piety, and lastly you need…  

6) Resilience (20:29–30)

29 The glory of young men is their strength, but the splendor of old men is their gray hair. 

Listen, if you are young out there, this is not an indictment on youth. Or strength! If you are young, use your youth and your strength for God’s glory. I used to be able to pull allnighters studying for exams. I used to be able to travel on missions trips and go, go, go without needing to even stop for a breath. Now I get off the plane and need a nap. I used to jump like a gazelle and sleep like a bump on a log. Now the cats wake me up just by walking around the house. They’ve given me my gray hair.

“What’s your point, Pastor Tony?” Here’s my point. If you are young, celebrate your youth. It is your glory. Use it for God’s glory. Go on mission trips. Work like crazy and learn a skill. Build a career. Read books. Travel. Get married. Have children. It’s easier to raise children when you are in your twenties or thirties than when you are in your forties or fifties. It’s almost like God knew what he was doing when he created peak fertility. 

So there are advantages to being young. But there are also advantages to being old. And the splendor of old men is their gray hair (or their absence of hair in some cases). Wisdom comes with gray hair typically. Experience comes with gray hair typically. Shrewdness comes with gray hair typically. And as your youth fades men and women, you better have something more than physical strength to depend on. Because your strength won’t always be there.   

And speaking of strength, and speaking of resilience, look at verse 30. This verse is fascinating.

30 Blows that wound cleanse away evil; strokes make clean the innermost parts. 

Some have equated this Proverb with others that speak of the rod. As if Solomon was speaking about disciplining young people here. But I think he’s got something else on his mind, something linked to verse 29. 

I think Solomon is saying that as you get older, not only do you get gray hair, you also get wounds. Emotional wounds. Psychological wounds. Sometimes physical wounds. And God never wastes those wounds. Those wounds make you better, and they make you smarter. And they make you less self-reliant and more God-reliant. 

And there’s a paradox that comes to those who get weaker as they age, and most young people, who are still strong, don’t know this very well. It’s not their fault, they just don’t get it yet. The paradox goes like this, “When I am weak, then I am strong.” When I am less me-reliant and more God-reliant, then paradoxically, there’s access to strength that I never knew existed. The title of this message is “Puzzling Out Life.” Here’s something for us to puzzle over.

Paul said it this way. This is Paul at his autobiographical best: “So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor 12:7–10).

“What was Paul’s thorn in the flesh, Pastor Tony?” I don’t know. He doesn’t tell us. Maybe it’s better that we don’t know. But I do know this. I know that “God’s grace is sufficient for you, and Christ’s power is made perfect in weakness.” I know that when I am weak, then I am strong. And I know that…

30 Blows that wound cleanse away evil; strokes make clean the innermost parts.

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Let me say it this way. I’ll close with this, then we can sing together. Let me say it in verse.

When I am weak, you show yourself strong,

A vessel for holy use, to you I belong,

When I feign strength, you gently remind

That human strength is frailty poorly defined,

When I appear big, it’s a farce and a fiction,

What a sham to be duped by this errant conviction! 

When I get small, a power emerges, a strength arises,

The God of my salvation is full of surprises.

When I look elsewhere, my weakness is exposed,

Your power is deposed; but your Spirit is enclosed.   

When I gaze Godward, I don’t need to press onward, 

In my flesh and in my self, which only lead me downward.

I get low and I get meek, and you love to help the weakest,

And you show your greatest strength when my prospects are the bleakest.

And the wounds that make us stronger, make us smarter, make us cleaner,

Are the wounds that make us wiser, to reform a broken sinner.  

And so, when I am weak, you show yourself strong, 

I am your holy vessel, and to you I belong.