Genesis 2:4–25 

SPOTIFY

Audio

Manuscript

Welcome everyone. As you are being seated, go ahead, and take your Bibles and turn with me to the Book of Genesis, chapter 2. 

We are beginning a series today entitled “Marriage and Our Maker.” And for the record, marriage, as an institution, has fallen on hard times in America. Would you agree with that statement? Even when I was a kid, in the 80s, that was the case. Divorce was rampant. Marital infidelity was rampant. Sexual sin was rampant. I had only a few friends in High School that weren’t sexually active. And one of the worst things that you can do for a marriage is have pre-marital sex. We’ll talk more about that in a second. 

Well now it’s 30 years later. It’s 2024. And the world has gotten even more hostile and more repulsed by the idea of (1) marriage as an institution, (2) marriage as a sanctuary for a monogamous, heterosexual relationship, and (3) marriage as this indissoluble, one-flesh bond between a man and a woman. 

And it’s easy to be despairing. And for those of us who grew up in this culture, what is our hope? What chance do we have for a healthy marriage? We have, as a culture, cut ourselves loose from the mothership of truth. We are no longer tethered to anything and so we get sucked into the vortex of outer space. And nobody knows anymore “what is a marriage?” What is the basis of marriage? 

And I get the sense that people, more than ever, want to know, “What is a marriage?” “What are the rules for marriage?” “What does God want?” Because in seeking out our own plan for marriage, we have cast aside God’s plan and God’s instructions. And where has that left us? Adrift. Confused. Lonely. Disillusioned. Broken.

Let me give you a few statistics on marriage. I don’t want to drown you in a sea of statistics, but I think some of these are helpful for establishing a baseline for what’s going on in our culture: 

1) In 1960, the Divorce Rate was 25%. The Divorce Rate today is 50%. In other words, 1 out of every 2 marriages in our country today will end in divorce. 

Now that statistic needs to be significantly qualified. The reason that number is so high is in large part because some people get married again and again and again. And that skews the data. So that doesn’t mean that if you get married today for the first time, you have a 50% chance of divorce. 

And by the way, you’ll hear people say that the divorce rate is the same for Christians as for non-Christians. I’ve heard that my whole life. That’s just false, okay. That’s only true of the people who you walk up to on the street and say, “Are you a Christian?” And they say, “Yes.” But that’s like 70% of our country. 

But we know that that is not an accurate assessment of a person’s faith. Better research has proven that people who read their Bible regularly and attend church regularly have a much lower divorce rate than those who don’t.

More recent research has suggested too that the divorce rate is going down. A lot of Christians have celebrated that. But I think that’s fool’s gold. The divorce rate is going down, I believe, because many people today are choosing to just live together and not get married. And that’s not an improvement. 

2) In 1960, 75% of all U.S. adults were married. Today that number is less than 50%. For the first time in our nation’s history, more than half the adult population is single. Now that’s not an indictment, in and of itself. Jesus was single. Paul was single. There are good reasons to stay single. But I think that statistic does reflect a certain hesitancy in the minds of many to marry. People are marrying later in life. People are taking longer to choose to marry and to choose their spouse. And, here’s what’s negative, there is a huge percentage of the U.S. adult population who are cohabiting unmarried. 

3) In 1960, cohabitation as a percentage was negligible. Today 25% of all unmarried women (ages 25-40 years old) are living with a partner. And over 50% of women (20s, 30s, 40s) at one time in their life will cohabit.

4) Those who live together before marriage, generally speaking, are more likely to get divorced. Some people assume that living together is a great way to find out if you’ve got the right person, especially if you have the right sexual and romantic chemistry. But that assumption is false.

5) In general, the earlier sex is introduced to a relationship, the more likely that relationship is going to break up.

6) Some people assume that most married people are unhappy. But research has shown that 2/3 of all married people who say they are unhappy, if they stay together five more years, they later say that they are happy.

7) Over the last 40 years, 62% of people who have stayed married (instead of divorcing) say that they are very happy. 

8) Piles and piles of data confirm that married people have a higher level of physical health, mental health, wealth accrual at every age. Kids who grow up with married parents have a 200-300% greater chance of positive life outcomes. There are good reasons out there to get married and stay married! 

So admittedly, the situation for marriage in our country is bleak, but it’s not hopeless. And some of that data actually points to good prospects on the horizon for those who get married and stay married in our country. 

But that doesn’t really answer the big question that I want to answer today. The big question for today is “What is a marriage?” Why do we even have marriage as a thing in the first place? Why not just live together? Why not just pair up together with different people at different times throughout one’s life? Why get married to one person and stay faithful to that one person in the first place?   

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let’s address this. Here’s your outline for today. I’ll give three answers to the question, What Does the Bible Teach about Marriage? 

1) Marriage is God’s doing

Let’s look at Genesis 2 where we see the first marriage, the first woman, and the first recorded words of mankind. What we get in Genesis 2 is a more nuanced presentation of God’s creation of mankind than Genesis 1. Genesis 1 speaks in macro terms of God’s creating mankind along with the rest of the world in six days. Genesis 2 now drills down into the specifics of that sixth day creative act. And even the terminology for God is more nuanced. In Genesis 1, God was Elohim. Here in Genesis 2, starting in verse 4, it’s not just Elohim, but Yahweh Elohim, the covenant God of the Israelites who initiates relationship with his created beings. 

And we see in verse 7 that Yahweh Elohim (The LORD God) created Adam, the first man. 

then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.

Then in verse 15, God plopped Adam down in the Garden of Eden. 

The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.

Whenever I read this, I think of a Wii console or something like that where you pick up a little Mii character and move him from place to place. God just kind of picks Adam up, with his legs dangling and plops him down into this lush garden. And some of you might be familiar with Genesis 1, where God gave man dominion over the earth. So as part of that dominion, Adam starts to work. He works the garden. He keeps it. It’s good for man to work. Work is a pre-fall institution. Work is a good thing, and it’s not something that we should despise or begrudge, even though it is tainted by sin and the fall in Genesis 3.

And everything in the Garden of Eden is good, good, good, good, good. Adam has everything that a person could possibly want: fulfilling work, good food, fellowship with God, dominion over the earth. It’s all good! Except that it’s not all good. Not yet anyway. There’s only one place in the entire creation story (Gen 1–2), where God says, “It is not good…” Did you know that? And that’s in verse 18 where God says, 

It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.

In other words, man needs “marriage.” Man needs a counterpart. Man needs a “helper” to do things like procreate. But also man needs a helper to raise children, and to share life with, and grow old with. It’s not good for man to be alone!

Now just a few comments here on verse 18. I want to be clear about this. When God says man needs a “helper” fit for him, God is not saying that man needs a maid. God is not saying that man needs a servile counterpart. To assume that is to misunderstand the text. The word for “helper” is the word עֵזֶר in Hebrew. It’s actually a word that is used for God in Deuteronomy 33:7. Also God is called an עֵזֶר (a “helper”) of Israel in Exodus 18:4 and throughout the Psalms! David calls God his “helper” in Psalm 70:5. “I am poor and needy; hasten to me, O God! You are my help [עֵזֶר] and my deliverer; O LORD, do not delay!”

Tell me if you’ve heard this before. Psalm 121:1-2 “I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help [עֵזֶר] come? My help [עֵזֶר] comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.” Just to be clear, “helper” is not some mean or lowly designation. It’s a term of honor. It’s a term of strength and respect. And by the way, this passage connotes equality among the sexes. The Hebrew says, “I will make him a helper fit for him.” In other words, “I will make a helper ‘comparable to’ or ‘suitable for’ him.” In Genesis 1 it says that God created both male and female in his image (Gen 1:27). So men and women are different, but they have equal standing as image-bearers before God.

So what does it mean for a woman to be a helper to a man? Let me just flesh this out a bit. I’ll give you three categories: 1) Procreation, 2) Companionship, and 3) Dominion. 

1) Adam needed a “helper” for procreation. God didn’t design man to procreate by splitting in half like an amoeba or some other single-celled organism. Or like a Starfish! We were designed to procreate with a partner. Also 2) God wanted man to have a “helper” to share life experiences with him. Marriage wasn’t just a provision for sex and procreation. It also meets a relational need in humans. 

I personally feel like this is derived from God himself who is a Trinitarian God who has fellowship amongst himself, and has had that fellowship from time immemorial, from before time even began. God was never alone in eternity past. He always had fellowship between Father, Son, and Spirit. And God wanted Adam to have something like that in marriage and not be alone. And 3) God wanted man to have a helper to help him rule the planet—someone to help him work in the garden and take care of it. Proverbs 18:22 say, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.”

By the way, I don’t think that Adam felt this need at first. I mean Adam was just a few hours old at this point. He didn’t know what he didn’t know. He probably didn’t know that he needed help. But God knew he needed help. And God knew that we would need help in this post-fall world. So God in his grace gave us marriage and helpmates.

Let me just add to those three things something personal. Sanja and I have been married for 23 years. She has been a great help to me in my life, not just in terms of procreation and sharing life together. There have also been practical ways that she has helped me. Sanja’s good at hospitality. Sanja’s good at discernment. Sanja’s good at relationship building. And she’s good at practical stuff like doing our taxes and making furniture. God has given us this thing called marriage to leverage the collective strengths that we have as a couple. 

And also, I’ll add another thing. There’s an emotional stability that God gives to marriage. And I’ve seen that in our marriage. Sanja is able to pick me up, when I’m discouraged. I’m able to pick her up, when she’s discouraged. That’s good. That’s one of the benefits of marriage. Does marriage always work that way? No! Sometimes marital couples tear each other down, instead of picking each other up. That’s not good. And that’s not what God intended marriage to be. 

That’s why when Paul talks about marriage in Ephesians 5, he talks about it in the context of building each other up. Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church. Wives, submit to the leadership of your husbands. Love each other. Respect each other. Die to yourselves for one another. Be like Christ to one another. I’ll talk more about that in the weeks to come. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Go ahead write this down as #2. Marriage is God’s doing, but also… 

2) Marriage is God’s design

So let’s get back to Genesis 2. God knows that man needs help. God says in verse 18, “It is not good that man should be alone.” So watch what God does in verse 19. 

19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens [see Genesis 1 for more on that] and [God] brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper [עֵזֶר] fit for him. 

Adam had, hands down, the coolest job in the history of the world! He already had the greatest job in the world taking care of the Garden of Eden, which essentially took care of itself. Now he gets an even cooler job. He gets to name the animals. How awesome is that! You are hippopotamus. You are kangaroo. You are tyrannosaurus. You are the duck-billed platypus or whatever the Hebrew equivalent for those words was. But there’s a purpose behind this job. God was bringing these creatures to Adam to see if a suitable helper might be found for him.

God brought the eagle to Adam. But Adam said “No thanks.” So God brought the cat, but Adam said, “No way, that’s not going to work.” So God brought the dog. And Adam liked the dog. And Adam said, “You can be man’s best friend. But you can’t be my ‘helper.’” And so God brought the elephant and the moose and the crocodile and the buffalo, and Adam said, “no, no, no, no, no.” “Too impractical. Too implausible. Too large. Too small. Too hairy. Too beastly. Too unlike me!”

I remember reading somewhere where an author speculated that God brought these animals to Adam in pairs, male and female, just like when Noah brought them to the ark. And Adam saw that the lions had lionesses. He saw that the tigers had tigresses. He saw that the bulls had heifers, and that bucks had does. They all had their mates that were like them. And Adam started to long for a mate that was like him! 

And I can imagine that after hours and hours of naming animals, Adam began to sink into despair, if there was such a thing as despair in the Garden of Eden. And Adam said, “There’s no one like me. These animals are not fit for me. Everyone has their counterpart except for me. Everyone has a way to obey God’s command ‘Be fruitful and multiply,’ except for me!” 

You see when God created the animals, he created them in swarms. He created them in herds. Adam was the only creature that was hand-crafted by God. God took special care and special delight in creating him differently from every other creature on earth. So Adam’s counterpart, his helper, needed to be different from the animal creatures too. She needed to be hand-crafted like Adam! 

So what does God do? Watch this! This is great. Verse 21. 

21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, 

Adam has a deep need, so God causes him to fall into a deep sleep.

and while [Adam] slept [the LORD God] took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 

God did a little bit of supernatural surgery here. God was the first surgeon and the first anesthesiologist in our world. He cut open Adam’s side and removed flesh and bone, and then he sutured him up while he was sleeping. 

22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman 

Literally “he [built] into a woman.” He designed that rib into a woman. Eve was hand-crafted by God, just like Adam was hand-crafted by God and even more so. We like to say that man was God’s greatest and last creation… that’s not true… woman was God’s greatest and last creation.

and [the LORD God] brought her to the man. 

It’s as if God is the father of the bride walking his daughter down the aisle and presenting her to her husband. This is really a very tender moment in the Scriptures. This is the first marriage. This is where marriage came from. And watch what happens next. Look at verse 23. These are actually the first words that man speaks in the Bible. We haven’t heard Adam speak yet in the Scriptures. But now he talks. And look what he says in verse 23:

23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; 

She was literally bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. This is not just metaphorical language here. Maybe Adam felt the missing rib in his body? Maybe his chest was still smarting from his recent surgery? And so then, he cries out, 

she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 

She shall be called אִשָּׁה, because she was taken out of אִישׁ. I’m so glad that this wordplay is accessible to us in English: Man/Woman; אִישׁ / אִשָּׁה. Woman is like man, but she’s not the same as man. She is taken from man, and they are more like each other than they are like the other creatures. But they are not the same. They are corresponding and complementary, both made in the image of God and coming together now as partners in life, family, and ministry. Adam says, “She shall be called אִשָּׁה, because she was taken out of אִישׁ.” “She belongs to me; She is like me!” 

You know for me this is one of the most remarkable passages in the Bible. I love this passage. I remember my pastor preaching on this passage when I was twelve years old. I was so enamored by this picture of marriage that God paints for us. And I love this response of Adam. What does he do when he sees Eve for the first time? We can’t read tone or a person’s mood into a written text, but I guarantee you that Adam did not recite this statement in monotone: “THIS IS AT LAST BONE OF MY BONES AND FLESH OF MY FLESH!” I guarantee you that Adam didn’t say these words dispassionately. There is exuberance in his statement. There is delight and jubilation in these words! I mean, this is poetry that Adam recites to his bride. Men are known to recite poetry when they find the woman of their dreams. 

Adam says, “She is my life. She is my wife. She is part of me in ways that no other creature could possibly be. Hallelujah! Thank you God for this wonderful gift.” I said something like that myself when I found my wife. I still say stuff like that today. 

Actually Adam’s emotions here are probably more elevated than any other man’s in the history of the world. First of all because they weren’t tainted by sin or jealousy or pride or anything like that. Secondly because Adam had never seen another human before this. If you spent your whole life looking at hairy four-footed animals, before you finally met someone like you, you’d rejoice like Adam did. Adam didn’t have parents that looked like him. He didn’t have uncles and aunts and neighbors that looked like him. This is his first exposure to another human creature, and he rejoices. 

You know for me it wasn’t when I first saw my wife that I had a reaction like this, it was when I first saw my son. And I saw in his features and his countenance something of myself and something of my wife. I saw my own ears in his little ears. I saw my wife’s chin in his little chin. I saw my own crooked fingers in his little crooked fingers. Something like that is happening here with Adam. “She’s bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. Hallelujah, I don’t have to be alone in this life.” 

Now watch what happens next. Look at verse 24. Here’s how the design of marriage comes together. Because Moses, the author of this text, is going to step outside of the narrative and give us an edict from God on what marriage should be. Verse 24 isn’t part of Adam’s statement to Eve. Adam’s done. He’s going to go enjoy the wife of his youth in the Garden of Eden. But Moses uses this tender moment to do a little editorializing. He using this moment to make a definitive statement about marriage, that was just as true 3,500 years ago as it is today. He writes…

24 Therefore [in light of what you’ve seen here folks… in light of how God created man and woman and marriage] a man shall leave his father and his mother and [cleave] to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

And all the Israelites who were reading this for the first time after Moses wrote it said, “Aha, so that’s where marriage came from! So that’s why we have this desire to get married. God created it that way.”

By the way that is strong language right there. The word “leave” in verse 24 is the word עָזַב, which is typically translated “abandon” or “forsake.” It’s as if God knew that there would be some “mama’s boys” and “daddy’s little girls” out there who would someday need to hear this. This statement wasn’t for Adam and Eve, by the way. Adam and Eve didn’t have parents. This is for you and for me. 

a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

That’s marriage. It’s God’s design. God designed it to be one man and one woman leaving their parents, making commitments to one another, and enjoying each other for life. 

The author and cynic Ambrose Bierce said this. He said, “Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage.” The great American actress, Katharine Hepburn said, “If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.”

Martin Luther, on the other hand, said this, “There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.” He said of his wife “My Katie is in all things so obliging and pleasing to me that I would not exchange my poverty for the riches of Croesus.” And he also alluded to the fact that marriage taught him more about himself and about love than any monastery could have. 

Some of you might be familiar with the evangelist D.L. Moody. D.L. Moody spent the bulk of his adult life traveling and preaching to large crowds, yet despite his blistering pace, one of the members of his family said, “No man ever paid greater homage to his wife than Mr. Moody. I never met with a happier couple.” What was it that D.L. Moody discovered that Ambrose Bierce didn’t? What did Martin and Katie Luther understand that others like Katherine Hepburn didn’t? I think they understood Genesis 2. I think they understood and took seriously the gift of marriage that God intended it to be. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marriage is God’s doing. Marriage is God’s design. But this also. Write this down as #3. 

3) Marriage is God’s display

By the way, when Jesus talks about marriage in the NT, he references Genesis 2. Jesus said, “man shall leave his father and his mother and [cleave] to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Matt 19:5; Mark 10:7). Paul does the same thing in Ephesians 5. And yet, one of the things that we learn in the NT is that marriage is bigger than just a temporary institution on earth that God created so that we might bear children. Marriage is actually a display of something greater.

In Ephesians 5:31, the Apostle Paul says, 

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

We’ve heard that before, haven’t we? Paul goes back to the book of Genesis, just like we did. Paul’s trying to encourage the church in Ephesus, and he’s trying to encourage the married couples in Ephesus. How does he do that? He quotes Genesis. But then he says this in 5:32. 

This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 

What mystery is he talking about? The mystery of marriage! Why is marriage mysterious? How is marriage mysterious? Here’s how. Human marriage is a temporary picture of the eternal marriage of Christ and the church. Did you know that? Our marriages are momentary! Our marriage to Christ is eternal. That is the mystery. That is the truth about marriage, and it is profound! 

That’s why, we say husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church; in other words enact the mystery. And wives submit to your husbands as the church does to Christ. Enact the mystery. Show the world the mystery of Christ and his church! Does that add a little pressure to your marriage relationship? It should! Does that make your duty in marriage a little more meaningful and significant? It should. Husbands and wives, don’t mess up the picture that you are painting of Christ and his church. 

In his book, This Momentary Marriage, John Piper talks about this at length. And at one point in the book, Piper said that he asked his wife Noël if there was anything she wanted him to emphasize when he was preaching on the subject of marriage. And you can imagine what a wife might say. “Tell husbands to be kind to their wives.” “Tell husbands and wives to forgive each other often.” “Tell husbands and wives to work through conflict and communicate well with each other.” But she didn’t say that. You know what she said? She said this. She said, “You cannot say too often that marriage is a model of Christ and the church.” That’s what she wanted John Piper to emphasize. 

Why did she want him to emphasize that? Here’s why. Because she knows that marriage is God’s display of his eternal love for his people. Human marriage is God’s picture of his forever love for his church. That is so important. 

And let me just prove this to you quickly. If you would, just turn in your Bibles to the last book in the Bible, Revelation. It’s amazing to me in reading the Bible how so much of Genesis and creation and the Garden of Eden gets replicated in the end times. There are some amazing parallels between the Garden of Eden in Genesis and the new heaven and the new earth in Revelation. I’ll give you a few examples of those parallels: 

In Genesis, there’s the division of day and night (1:4). In Revelation, there’s no night at all (21:25). 

In Genesis, there’s the division of land and sea (1:10). In Revelation, there’s no more sea (21:1).

In Genesis, man is in a prepared garden (2:8-9). In Revelation, man is in a prepared city (21:2)

In Genesis, there’s a river flowing out of Eden. In Revelation, there’s a river flowing from God’s throne (21:2)

In Genesis, there’s gold in the land (2:12). In Revelation, there’s streets of gold in the city (21:21)

In Genesis, there’s bdellium and onyx stone (2:12). In Revelation, there’s all manner of precious stones (21:19)

In Genesis, God walks in the garden with Adam and Eve (3:8). In Revelation, God dwells forever with His people (21:3)

In Genesis, there’s the tree of life in the midst of the Garden (2:9). In Revelation, the Tree of Life returns (22:2).

And to that, you might say, “What does that have to do with marriage, Pastor Tony?” Well, believe it or not, there is marriage in eternity too. But it’s not us being married to one another. Instead, Jesus is presented as the eternal bridegroom to his bride, the church. 

John writes about this in Revelation 19 in what’s called The Marriage Supper of the Lamb.

6 Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out, “Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. 7 Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; 8 it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. 9 And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.” 

Later in Revelation 21, John writes, 

1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. 2 And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. 

Later in Revelation 21, John is shown this great city up close that is bedecked in jewels and adorned with splendor. This is the home of the bride who will live with the bridegroom, Christ, forever and ever and ever. Marriage is not just a temporary institution that only lasts for our lifetime. Human marriage is momentary. Our marriage to Christ lasts forever. Marriage is God’s great display of love for eternity. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now to all that, you might say, “Okay, Pastor Tony. That’s fascinating. Really, it is. But to be honest, we are just trying to survive in our marriage. We’re just trying to make it. Truth be told, we don’t like each other sometimes. And truth be told, sometimes we think we’d be better off not married.” 

Or you might say in this day, “I’d rather go chase my same-sex attraction, than stay married to my spouse.” Or you might say, “I’d like to see what else is out there. Maybe there’s someone out there who is more suited for me?” 

Look, I understand the struggle. And I want to encourage you to hold fast to the marriage that God has given you. And even those of you who are happily married like me, we all need a reminder to be faithful in the marriages that God has called us to. 

And for those of you who are single, let me say a quick comment on that. I want to commission those of you who are single, as members of this community of faith, to pray these things for the married men and women in this church. And I want to commission you to help those in your small group and those in your sphere of influence who are married to be faithful to what the Bible teaches on marriage. Just like I would ask the marrieds in this room to encourage the singles among us in life and faith in purity, I want to ask the singles to encourage the marrieds in life and faith and purity. 

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a single man, said this about marriage. He was put to death before he was able to marry the woman that he was engaged to. He gives some sound advice to us married folks. He says, “It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.” You can be the Dietrich Bonhoeffer in a married person’s life. You can encourage them. 

By the way, it’s a great thing in our church to have diversity in our fellowship. It’s a great thing in our church to have diversity in our small groups. I don’t want our church to be little homogenized groups of individuals who look like you and talk like you and have the same marital status as you. I don’t think that’s healthy in the church. So marrieds and singles, let’s work on these things together as a church. 

All of us, as Christians, have an opportunity to play the Jesus role. If you are a husband, you be like Jesus and you love your wife as Christ loves the church. If you are a wife, then you love your husband and you submit to your husband as Christ does to God the Father. 

And if you are single, here’s what you do. If you are single, then you live like Jesus did as a single man. He was a man of purity and dignity and honor. And he patiently waits for his spouse. Even now, Jesus is patiently waiting for his spouse. Did you know that? He’s waiting for the marriage supper of the Lamb! 

So whoever you are, whether you are a husband, a wife, or a single person, you have a unique opportunity to imitate your Savior. You have an opportunity to represent something different to the watching world. Something holy. Something beautiful. Something countercultural. This is God’s view on marriage. Let’s embrace this and live this out. 

Taught by Tony Caffey

Senior Pastor of Verse By Verse Fellowship

Marriage & Our Maker