Tonight we continue in the second half of this wonderful book of Ephesians…doctrine in the first half, how to live out that doctrine in the second half

To summarize the doctrinal portion: we learned that our salvation is solely the work of God, originated by God “before the foundation of the world” (Eph 1.4) and accomplished by God on our behalf while we were “dead in trespasses and sins” (Eph 2.1); we see that salvation described as “by grace through faith” in Ephesians 2.8-9; we’re reminded that we are now part of a single people for God’s possession, “one flock with one shepherd” according to John 10; to the purpose that “Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith” (Eph 3.17); as he finishes this doctrine of the church as the body of Christ, he turns to the practical matter of instructing the church about how to live like the church we are

In the exhortational portion of the book, the last three chapters, we are told to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace as the single people that we now are; that the Church has been given gifted leaders, who are charged to “equip the saints for the work of the ministry” (Eph 4.12); and that we are to be who we are, to walk in a manner worthy of the calling of Christ…that we are to live in light of the fact that we have put off the old self of the flesh, and put on the new self in Jesus; last week Paul turned a spotlight on our ethical choices

Now, as we continue in the fifth chapter, Paul addresses the first pair of relationships that will expand on the truth in Ephesians 5.21: submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. 

Turn with me to Ephesians 5.22-33 and we’ll read God’s word together

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

The shortened version from Colossians, the mirror book to Ephesians…

Colossians 3.18-19

18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 

Would you join me in prayer

As we begin tonight, I am very aware of the fact that this might be the one of the most controversial passages of Scripture that could be taught in today’s social environment. The institution of marriage, created by God and dating from humanity’s first existence, is under attack as never before, and in fact has in many ways been overturned in recent years, at least in this country…as we look at this passage, we need to see it in the context of its place in the book

After the first three doctrinal chapters, the apostle pleads for unity within the body of Christ, then admonishes us that since we have “put off” the old self and “put on” the new self by coming to faith in Jesus, we are now to live that way -- as those made new in Christ and filled by the Holy Spirit of God 

Following this passage -- 5.22 to 6.9 -- the apostle turns to a solemn warning to prepare for spiritual warfare, then closes the book with a plea for the Ephesians, and others, to pray for him as he remains an “ambassador in chains” under house arrest in Rome

But this passage on relationships is perfectly placed between teaching on unity in the church and the Spirit-filled life on one hand, and spiritual warfare on the other, because as we live out our faith in Jesus, we will discover that our relationships become the battleground for the spiritual warfare that require us to gear up with the armor of the Spirit…it’s Paul’s assertion that you can expect that the enemy will attack us in our relationships with others -- and within that, it begins in our marriages

Why? Because marriage is the first institution created by God, founded on His definition of the genders of male and female, and the marriage relationship forms the basis for all the other institutions…if it fails and falls, then others -- the church, the state, and our other relationships, including parenting, our work life, our life in the body of Christ, all begin to erode and crumble…we’re starting to see it even now in our world, and accelerating

So teaching on this topic is vitally important -- it also amounts to asking for a fight with the world, the flesh, and the devil -- so you should know that when you begin to take this seriously, and repent of sin in this area of your life, and reshape and renew your marriages according to the word of God, you will begin to experience the blessing of God as never before, and you will also begin to experience the spiritual warfare described in detail in chapter six, because the last thing the devil wants is for married Christians to begin to walk and live in obedience to the Biblical instruction for marriage…because if that happens, you can expect those believers will carry that obedience into their parenting, their work life, and their life in the body of Christ…the victory will be won or lost in your relationships to others

By way of overview, I want to call your attention to just a few points 

This idea -- teaching about basic human relationships such as those between husband and wife, parents and children, and masters and slaves, which I’ll update to employers and employees, dates back in this form to at least Aristotle…but as we would expect, our Lord changes the content of this familiar form in some radical ways

This passage finds its source in the last verse of last week’s text -- beginning with the phrase “but be filled with the Spirit” in verse 18, the apostle uses four participle phrases to describe what it means to live life filled with the Spirit -- “addressing,” “singing,” “giving thanks,” and verse 21 follows with “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” -- they’re so closely linked that verse 22 doesn’t actually have the word “submit” in the sentence in the Greek, since it is drawn from the verse before it…it would actually read this way: “wives, to your own husbands, as to the Lord” -- the understood verb in the sentence is from verse 21 where it refers to mutual submissiveness among believers

And in this passage on relationships -- 5.22 to 6.9 -- the focus is on submission, stemming from verse 21, and it’s contrasted three times with the roles given to the husbands, parents, and employers…we’ll see that tonight and next week as well

But in terms of context, Paul and the remainder of the New Testament, affirm three truths over and over, truths which we need to understand before we tackle the passage before us

First, the dignity of womanhood, childhood, and servanthood -- all are clearly taught by the word of God; second, the equality of great worth and value before God of all human beings, regardless of their race, gender, age, status, or any other characteristic; and thirdly, there is a unity all believers participate in within the body of Christ, which we see in Colossians 3

Colossians 3.11             11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.

So let’s dive in to the text…

I. Wives                                 5.22-24, 33b

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

“Submit” both in verse 21 and implied here -- renders Gr ‘hupotasso’ (5293) to subject oneself, to place oneself in submission, as to one in authority

Wives are to submit to their own husbands “as to the Lord” -- we must be careful about what this means and what it doesn’t mean -- it means that the authority of the husband is ordained by delegated from the Lord, and the submitted wife is able to see beyond the person of her husband and see the One instituting the authority, the authority delegated to the husband

Submitting “as to the Lord” doesn’t mean that wives are to treat their husbands as if they were God -- or that this authority is unlimited -- for those in authority are subject to God and His word -- nor are those in submission to obey unconditionally -- for those in authority and those in submission are both subject to God and His ultimate authority -- in other words, all human authority is delegated authority… “we must submit right up to the point that where obedience to human authority would involve disobedience to God” -- John R.W. Stott 

That said, the general rule in the New Testament is humble submission to God-given authority

We must be clear on this point -- “submission” is NOT “inferiority” -- though our culture today would likely equate the two -- this has nothing to do with inherent value…as J.H. Yoder said “equality of worth is not identity of role” -- we know that in Christ we all are of the same value before Him, all equally unworthy of His grace but also equally saved by that grace…but we also need to see that while we are all one in Christ, we don’t all have the same role in relationships, or gifting, or places of service in the Kingdom

As for this teaching, Paul describes it in the same or related language in I Corinthians 11 and 14, here in Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, I Timothy 2 and 3, and Titus 1 and 2, and Peter describes it in I Peter 3; this NT teaching is grounded in Genesis 2, and affirmed and defined by Jesus in Matthew 19 as well; it is the clear teaching of Scripture on this question

So we must ask -- what is the ground or reason for this submission? 

23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

The reason is that the husband is the “head” of the wife in the same way -- “even as” -- Christ is the “head” of the church -- used here in the sense of authority; head or chief, one to whom others are subordinate; as here, used of Christ in relation to the church, and elsewhere, God in relation to Christ (I Corinthians 11.3, Colossians 2.10, Ephesians 1.22)

Not here, but in I Corinthians 11.3-12 and I Timothy 2.11-13, Paul turns back to the creation account of Genesis 2 as the reasoning for this role and relationship

And of special note is this -- the role that Jesus takes in this teaching isn’t Lord or King -- while He is our authority as Head, here He emphasizes His role as Savior

And this relationship is a picture of the relationship between Christ, the Head, and His bride, the church…just as the church submits to her divine Head, Jesus Christ, so wives are to submit to their husbands

And of note is the extent of the submission here: in everything”

There’s really no way to escape the clear and comprehensive nature of the instruction here.

I am very aware that this is a normative passage -- it is the norm for the Christian wife, the instruction for her role in a Christian marriage…nowhere is this said to be easy or simple…like all human relationships, even among and between believers, it is affected and influenced and tainted by sin of all types…it is also an ideal, which is never achieved perfectly, and often never even approached, by many Christian couples…I realize that even between believers, marriage is never easy and can be a true struggle…nevertheless, I wouldn’t be teaching the truth of this passage if I said this direction for a Christian wife to submit to her husband was anything other than the revealed will of God…the world won’t approve of this teaching, or maybe even understand it…but I’m only concerned about what my Lord Jesus Christ thinks about it

So what does this attitude of submission accomplish in a Christian marriage?

Through it, the wife fulfills the purpose of completing her husband (Ephesians 5.31-32) -- as the two become one flesh in every possible way, the Christian wife, through her voluntary and joyful submission to her husband, completes him in a way that we can only begin to understand…this truth teaches us something profound…except for those few for whom singleness is God’s revealed will, a man is incomplete without his wife…and while he may accomplish much in this life and serve the Lord faithfully, there will be place that goes unfilled without a helpmeet…you see it best in those Christian couples who have loved Jesus and each other for decades…even they could not explain what this mystical union is or how it happened, but each knows in the deepest and most sacred recesses of their hearts that they are one flesh

And a Christian wife also glorifies her husband (Ephesians 5.25-27, 33) -- as a Christian wife pours her life into completing her husband, she displays the radiance -- the glory -- God intends for a Christian marriage to display…we’ll see more about this when we look at the responsibilities of a Christian husband, but for now, we can see that as this precious wife lives her life in obedience to Jesus and in submission to her husband, as she lives our her gifts for God’s glory, some of that reflects back on her husband…what a blessed husband he is who can look upon his wife and praise God for what He is doing in and through her…her submission to her husband doesn’t lessen her value or diminish her place in the Kingdom, it increases it…

One of the missions of the church in these days must be to lift up and dignify the God-given role of Christian wives, and all women, in our world…for if the church will not honor women, and especially those who have chosen to walk in their lives in obedience to the Father in the context of their marriage relationships and parenting relationships, we surely cannot expect the world to do so…may the church be the place in our society where women know they are valued and loved according to the word of God

In addition to vv. 22 through 24, there is one more instruction for Christians wives in verse 34

33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

This is really a summary of the content of the rest of the preceding passage, but I think the reason the apostle adds this summary is that he’s pointing to the greatest potential weakness for both the wife and the husband…in this case, the wife is told to “respect” her husband

“Respect” in the ESV, “reverence” in the KJV, renders the Greek word ‘phobeo’ (5399), to fear, reverence, and honor…it’s used frequently of reverence for Christ and for God the Father, but here is applied to husbands…we’re not certain exactly why Paul chose this word, for it seems to convey a sense of holy awe…I think it may be because that’s a temptation for wives to withhold respect from their husbands in an attempt to control them…and of course husbands know that what men need the most from their wives is their respect…nothing is more damaging to a husband than to believe or know that he doesn’t have the respect of his wife

I am confident of this -- Paul didn’t choose this word because husbands are uniformly worthy of such a high degree of respect…however, maybe we see some of the reason why when we consider Bryan Chapell’s words on this: 

“…a more certain reason Paul uses this term is that it points a wife back to the source of her esteem for her husband. The word “reverence” in these final words of instruction must have been intended to echo the apostle’s word that root all aspects of submission in Christ’s purposes in verse 21. The effect is to encourage wives in this way: “Your relationship for your husband finds its source not in who he is, or what he does, or how deserving he is. The relationship to which God calls you has its source in your relationship with the Savior. The desire for fulfilling your responsibility must be rooted in the desire you have to please God.”

I’ll close this portion of the passage on Christian wives with this story, also told by Chapell: 

“An elderly couple sat before me in church. They have been lifelong in the church and wed for more than sixty years. The husband’s Bible should be collected for a museum of the saints. He has taken and cross-indexed sermon notes in that Bible for most of the sixty years of the marriage. It is a masterpiece of Bible love and knowledge. Yet, despite that legacy of love for the Lord’s Word, the man has faced health challenges in recent years that have sometimes challenged his memory. On that particular Sunday that the couple sat before me, he could not find the book of Esther when the pastor announced the text for the sermon. 

I watched him flip pages, look confused, and then turn more pages with a look of desperation growing on his face. His frantic motions caught his wife’s attention. And with a movement of her hand as subtle as a whispered kiss, she reached over and turned his Bible to the appropriate page. Then, without looking at him, she smiled and patted his knee in reassurance. 

The gestures were so simple, but they well demonstrated a love that had matured in the Lord for more than sixty years. She used the gifts and abilities that were hers to help her husband, to support him in his worship, and to show respect for him even when his limitations meant that he may no longer have deserved such honor. The gestures would have been easier if she had not strained to be so subtle, but her goal was his glory. In preserving that, she dignified herself, and surely brought pleasure to God.”

Blessed be those godly women who embrace this instruction and honor their husbands as they honor their Lord.

II. Husbands                                 5.25-30, 33a

Now the attention turns to Christian husbands -- are you ready, men?

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 

That’s very challenging -- a big lift, as we say -- for a man 

While the keynote for the Christian wife is to “submit,” the keynote for the Christian husband is to “love” -- which sounds easy as can be, because we all loved our wives enough to marry them in the first place, right? But when you read a little further in the text, and you see HOW we are to love…the way Jesus loves the church…you realize this might be harder than you thought…

Since we looked at the role for Christian wives, let’s turn to the role for husbands…in a word, it’s “headship” -- taking that word directly from the relationship of Jesus to His bride, the church; it conveys the sense of taking care of something, being responsible; taken from verse 23; so what does it mean in this context?

“Head” renders the Greek word ‘kephale’ (2776), which can mean your physical head, or more commonly and metaphorically, it means head or chief, one in authority, one to whom others are subordinate; used in I Corinthians 11.3 in the same context as it is here; meaningful that the Scripture uses the same word for the relationship of a husband to a wife as it does for Christ to the church; and it’s clear that it can’t mean “source” or “origin” in this context -- actually in any context (Grudem study -- 2,336 uses, none mean “source” or “origin”)

It doesn’t mean that husbands have unlimited authority, or that they have the right to abdicate or step down from responsibility for their wives and families, or that they get to dominate their wives and families; men don’t have the option to be an aggressive, abusive tyrant or a passive, non-responsive bystander who doesn’t engage in the life and issues of his family 

So what does it mean? Fundamentally, it means “authority” although Paul doesn’t use the more typical word for “authority” which is the Greek word ‘exousia’ which never appears in this passage -- but in this context, the emphasis isn’t on the exercise of authority -- in fact, it’s quite the opposite -- in all three relationships the emphasis is on love, even service, to others though there is certainly authority resident in each one, but never the raw, unbridled assertion of authority, certainly not in the case of a Christian husband; we’re called to use all we have to benefit and bless those for whom we care, not ourselves

This is really the birth of what we call today the “servant-leader” -- the world may think they invented that term, but only people indwelt by the Spirit of God and committed to the well-being of others really understand what that means

So what are our purposes in this marriage relationship?

It’s pretty clear: we are to love our wives just as Jesus Christ loves the church, His bride 

But what does that mean? How is that even possible? Let’s examine this question…

First, self-sacrifice -- as Jesus did. as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 

It means you set the priorities of your wife -- her well-being, her spiritual growth -- above your own…just as Jesus did as He went to the cross for the sake of the church, giving up His life for her…it means you truly become a leader not through being first, or taking charge, but by being a servant -- learning that it is in serving that we find our greatest fulfillment, especially in our family and marriage relationships

Men, we have to learn that the authority -- the headship given to us by the Lord -- is never to be used for our benefit, but for the benefit of our wives and families -- the idea is that instead of taking charge, thinking that’s leadership, we take responsibility, knowing that in service we lead…we must know our wives and families so well that we understand their needs, then marshal our resources to meet those needs…we are to exercise our authority to see that godliness and love are paramount in our homes, even as we sacrifice our own desires and wishes if necessary to do so…as Jesus says in Mark 9, 

Mark 9.35    35 And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.” 

This is another example of the ways of God being very different from the ways of the world…if you’re watching the ways of the world, you can count on not discerning the ways of God, and the same is true in reverse

And let me be clear -- men, we can only begin to approach obedience in this area of our lives when we ourselves are following Jesus as we should, as we are called to do…we can’t be the servant-leader within our own homes unless we are first following our Lord, our Good Shepherd…we can’t in honesty urge our wives and children toward a deeper walk with Jesus unless we’re already walking there with Him ourselves…you can’t lead others to a place you haven’t been yourself

Second, Jesus sanctifies the church -- and so must we sanctify our wives

What, Mike? Say all the husbands…”I’m not the Holy Spirit…how can I sanctify my wife?”

In a strict sense, you can’t do that as the Spirit does…but when you think about what the word means -- to set apart as holy, as special -- then in a sense we can, indeed must, do that for our wives

You might have been married for a short time -- or married for a long time -- you might feel as if you’ve always been married, as if you can’t remember a time when you weren’t married…but my question to you husbands is this: do you still regard your wife as special? Set apart? 

Does she know that’s how you regard her? That of all the women in the world, you hold her in your heart as special? That to you, she is set apart as holy, sanctified in your eyes?

Listen to the words of the beloved in the Song of Solomon…

Song of Solomon 2.10-13

“Arise, my love, my beautiful one,

   and come away,

11 for behold, the winter is past;

   the rain is over and gone.

12 The flowers appear on the earth,

   the time of singing has come,

and the voice of the turtledove

   is heard in our land.

13 The fig tree ripens its figs,

   and the vines are in blossom;

   they give forth fragrance.

Arise, my love, my beautiful one,

   and come away.

And again in chapter 8…

Song of Solomon 8.6-7

Set me as a seal upon your heart,

   as a seal upon your arm,

for love is strong as death,

   jealousy is fierce as the grave. 

Its flashes are flashes of fire,

   the very flame of the Lord.

7 Many waters cannot quench love,

   neither can floods drown it.

Wives who hear that from their husbands know that they are loved and special…set apart.

But sanctification also means you do everything you can to lead your wife into greater spiritual growth and sanctification, to contribute to drawing her closer to Jesus -- you lead into worship, you lead into prayer, you lead in the planning for spiritual things

But along with leading in spiritual growth, men, you Christian husbands, you make sure that if anyone were to ask your wife, “ma’am, do you think your husband loves you and regards you as special, unique, his perfect one?” You make sure that she knows that you do -- that her answer would be “oh yes, my husband lets me know often that he regards me as special -- that I am set apart in his eyes, and that no one else holds the place in his heart that I do”

Men, you make sure your wife knows you love her with all your heart…

Another example of Jesus’s love for the church that we are to show to our wives is “washing her with water by the Word” 

Jesus does that through His Spirit as He leads us into all truth with the living Word, the Logos of Christ…so how can we do that for our wives?

Spend time in the Word of God with your wife…perhaps a morning devotional along with a time of prayer for your concerns for the day, or an evening devotional for the two of you as you end the day…I realize that many of you have children, and that increases the degree of difficulty, as they say, but it can still be done…I recommend C.H. Spurgeon and Oswald Chambers

Also, lead your wife in discussing this teaching from Ephesians, or the weekend sermon from Pastor Steve, or participate with her in a small group, or maybe lead a small group with her…remember, leading isn’t the same as controlling, let the Holy Spirit do that…simply experience the Word of God with her

But there’s more…Jesus is said to present the church to Himself…this passage also uses some interesting language to describe the work of our heavenly Bridegroom, Jesus Christ, when it says 27 …that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 

“Splendor” renders the Greek word ‘endoxos’ (1741), a compound word meaning “in glory” -- en doxon, from the root word ‘doxa’ or glory…translated “glorious” or “splendid” 

The role of a Christian husband is to find and build up his bride in all her beauty, most importantly inside, but in all ways…at this point we need to hear the apostle Peter, who said this in his first letter, chapter 3:

I Peter 3.1-7

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Husbands, here’s the thing -- live with your wife in such a way that she knows that what matters most to you is her inner beauty -- “the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” -- and should most certainly be very precious in our sight, as well. When a man loves his wife in that way -- for her heart and spirit, more than her outward appearance -- those are the couples who grow in the grace of the Lord through the years…

Then the focus shifts in the instruction to husbands, as Paul now says this:

28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 

Ever wonder about that, men? Have you ever thought, “I should love her more than I love my own body…” That’s true, but let’s start with just loving her as much as you love yourself. Because I can testify that men don’t have much problem with loving our own bodies, but it’s more challenging to love our wives as much as ourselves. But this brings new meaning to the Scripture from Genesis 2 about the two “becoming one flesh” -- our love for our wives must extend to them as it does to ourselves…in our minds and hearts, we must see one, not two, when we see ourselves as a married couple…

We nourish and cherish our own flesh…in some cases, too much…but the comparison remains with Christ and the church -- He nourishes -- feeds, supplies -- His church, and cherishes us -- loves us with a passionate and everlasting love, a self-sacrificial love, that we as husbands must learn to emulate if we are to love as Jesus loves…

Why? 30 because we are members of his body. See the picture Paul is creating here? We’re Christ’s body…as He loves us, so we are to love our wives. It’s really simple -- which is good, since as men we do much better with simple things -- love like Jesus. I’ll say it again: love like Jesus.

An addition -- men, we are and should be accountable to the Lord first, but also to each other for how we are loving our wives as Christ loves the church, how we are leading our families as servant-leaders, how we are leading our families in prayer and in study of the Word…one of the most meaningful things a man can do for another man is hold him accountable in a mutual relationship of living in obedience to Jesus…think of the power that holds, as men come alongside other men on behalf of the Lord and their families…think about how that would terrify the enemy…that makes us a hard target for the devil, amen?

III. Conclusion                              5.31-32

Now we come to the closing instruction for this passage addressing Christian marriage

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Paul now returns to Genesis at the institution of marriage and restates the original instruction: the two, the man and the woman, leave their families of origin, and are “joined unto” “cleave to” “hold fast to” -- all those renderings are trying to capture the Greek word ‘proskallao’ (4347) -- to glue two things together. No wonder the translators tried some different phrases…otherwise it would say “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be glued to his wife,” and that somehow doesn’t sound quite right…but the meaning is exactly right, because that’s just what happens in a Christian marriage -- a man and a woman are glued together by God 

Matthew 19.4-6       

4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

“Joined together” renders an interesting Greek word ‘suzeugnumi’ (4801) meaning “to yoke or pair together”

Now we start to see a more complete picture of what the Scripture means by Christian marriage…to be glued together as two pieces of wood, to be yoked or paired together as one might yoke two oxen together…thus Paul’s warning in II Corinthians 6.14 not to be “unequally yoked with unbelievers”

Clearly Christian marriage is much more than a civil relationship -- it’s the closest relationship in human existence. For it is a profound mystery, according to the apostle -- and it pictures the relationship between Christ and the church. 

32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

So if you are married now, or you might be someday, listen up -- this is the most important human relationship in your life. Other relationships are important -- like parenting, and working, which we will examine next week -- but none are as full of wonder, and fulfillment, and danger, and blessing, as marriage. Only in marriage does God say we see the divine pictured in a human relationship…treasures in a jars of clay, to be certain. Much more could be said here than time will permit -- but I encourage you to meditate on this, and study on your own, particularly if you already find yourself in a marriage. Think through the points of application the text gives us…husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church, and wives, submit to and respect your husbands. By God’s grace, may we make our marriages the very best they can be.

Let’s close in prayer