Proverbs 13:1-25

SPOTIFY

Audio

Manuscript

Let’s take our Bibles together and turn to the Book of Proverbs. Every week we are  accessing a fresh batch of ancient proverbs from Solomon. It’s like going to a local bakery and collecting  a dozen fresh pastries to eat and enjoy. And yet each week, there is a correlating principle that binds the  proverbs together. 

And this week, as I’ve looked at Proverbs 13, I see that correlating principle as humility. Solomon  wants to engender humility among the people of Israel. And he builds a case here for the benefits of a  humble life. And of course, you can’t talk humility without talking about that ancient vice that is the  archenemy of humility—pride.1

Winston Churchill was once asked, “Doesn’t it thrill you to know that every time you make a  speech, the hall is packed to overflowing?” Churchill replied, “It’s quite flattering… But whenever I feel  that way, I always remember that if instead of making a political speech I was being hanged, the crowd  would be twice as big.”2

Benjamin Franklin said once, “There is, perhaps, no one of our natural passions so hard to subdue  as pride. … For, even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of  my humility.”

There’s a famous moment in C.S. Lewis’s Screwtape Letters when the senior demon, Screwtape,  tells his understudy Wormwood to tempt his human patient by pointing out how humble he’s being.  Screwtape says, “Your patient has become humble; have you drawn his attention to the fact?”3“Catch  him at the moment when he is really poor in spirit and smuggle into his mind the gratifying reflection,  ‘By jove! I’m being humble,’ and almost immediately pride—pride at his own humility—will appear.”4 Isn’t that sneaky?5

Now, let’s be honest. We all struggle with pride. Don’t we? And if you answer that by saying,  “No,” then you probably have an issue with self-deceit in addition to your issue with pride. We all  struggle with this. Pride was the central issue that led to the downfall of Satan. Pride was the central issue  that led to the fall of Adam and Eve. Satan convinced them, “You can be like God” (cf. Gen 3:1–11). And  we, as the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve, still struggle with this basic tendency to think of  ourselves more highly than we ought to think. 

So let’s talk through what the Book of Proverbs has to say on this issue.

1

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here’s your outline for today. You might call these “The Four Benefits of Humility” from  Proverbs 13. Here’s the first. 

1) Humility trains the tongue (13:1–6)

Now verse 1 of chapter 13 is a new section heading. Solomon circles back with a big theme of this  book and that is the instruction of children.6 So verse 1 sounds like passages we’ve read before about fathers  teaching their children. And the emphasis is on instruction, teachability, and wisdom.

 1 A wise son hears7 his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.

There are wise children, and there are scoffers.8 There are teachable, humble young men and women.  And there are dopes. When I was a youth pastor, way back when, in the late 1900s, I had this kid in my  youth group. He was a know-it-all kind of kid. And he actually tried to convince me that he was the  humblest kid in our youth group. I didn’t get very far discipling and teaching that young man. Look at verse 2.

2From the fruit of his mouth a man eats9 what is good, but the desire of the treacherous is for violence. 

The first part of this verse reads oddly. “From the fruit of his mouth a man eats what is good.” But I  think we can grasp its sense. The idea here is that a man who has good, wholesome speech will be rewarded.  He’ll interview well and get a job. He’ll speak well of his friends and get invited to dinner. He’ll talk sweetly to  his wife, and they will avoid conflict.10 The evil man, on the other hand, loves drama, loves conflict, loves  fisticuffs, loves violence (Hebrew: ס ָמ ָח (even.

And that’s why, verse 3,

3 Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.

Good speech is not just about saying nice things. And it’s not just about speaking the truth, as important  as that is. It’s about knowing when to speak and when not to speak. It’s about knowing when to be quiet and  just listen.

A lot of husbands know how to “speak truth” to their wives. They know how to rationally and  analytically pound away at their wives with accurate and factual data. And husbands, you might win the battle  of a conflict. But you’ve lost the war for her heart. Sometimes it’s better to just listen. 

The image here in verse 3 is a grotesque image. “He who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” Just  imagine here a man opening up his lips so wide as to swallow a volleyball. What you have here is a “big  mouth man” looking a lot like a big mouth bass. 

2

There’s an old Louisianian proverb that goes like this: “Don’t let your alligator mouth overload  your hummingbird behind.”

3 Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips11 comes to ruin.12

4 The soul13 of the sluggard craves and gets nothing,14 while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.

 Literally “gets fattened up!”15 You want a fat soul. That’s a good thing in Hebrew thought. Girth is  good! 

5 The righteous hates falsehood, but the wicked brings shame and disgrace. 

The Hebrew word for “brings shame” here is better translated “stinks.”16 This is the same word that  Solomon uses in Ecclesiastes when he says, “Dead flies make the perfumer’s ointment give off a stench; so a  little folly outweighs wisdom and honor” (3:11). It’s also the word that Moses used to describe the Nile River  that turned to blood. After the fish died in it, it stank (Exod 7:18, 21).

5 The righteous hates falsehood, but the wicked [stinks] and [brings] disgrace. 

6 Righteousness guards him whose way is blameless, but sin17 overthrows the wicked.

For the teachable son, for the humble person, the positives in this section stack up beautifully. And  we’ve seen some of these words before in Proverbs. Solomon keeps watering the same ground. The  teachable son is righteous. He is blameless. He eats what is good. He guards his speech. He is diligent. He is  richly supplied. He is a delight to God and to others. 

And the opposite is true too. Feel the antithetical parallelism here. The scoffer, the unteachable, prideful  person is wicked. He’s a sluggard. He comes to ruin. He doesn’t control his speech. He’s a bigmouthed  blowhard. He stinks, and he brings disgrace. 

You might ask, “How does this relate to the gospel, Pastor Tony?” Well Jesus said, “Blessed are the  meek, for they will inherit the earth” (Matt 5:5). Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the  kingdom of heaven” (Matt 5:3). Why are the meek blessed? Why are the poor, the lowly in spirit, blessed?  Well the meek are blessed because they know their need for a Savior. They know they need saving, and  they’re not so busy talking, that they’re not listening to the plan of salvation that Jesus initiates. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Write this down as #2. Humility trains the tongue. But also…

2) Humility fosters sober mindedness (13:7–10)18

Solomon says in verse 7, 

7 One pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth.19

3

I heard a story once about Joe Flacco, the Super Bowl winning quarterback from the Baltimore  Ravens. Supposedly after he signed the biggest contract in league history in 2013, he went to McDonalds  and bought a ten-piece McNuggets meal.20

I’ve often read this verse and wondered what is Solomon saying here. Is he saying it’s good for rich  people to act poor? It’s certainly not good for a poor person to pretend to be rich.21 Is he just stating facts? Or is  there a moral to this Proverb?

I think the moral is this—don’t flaunt.22 This is not a diatribe against duplicity per se. This is an  encouragement from Solomon to not flaunt your wealth or your status before others.  I know we live in a day where everyone is worried about their own “brand.” We live in a self promoting culture filled with selfies and selfishness and self-actualizing techniques. But Solomon says  here, don’t “build your brand” in front of others. Don’t be in a hurry to disclose how smart you are or  how many degrees you have or how much money you make. A wise man is not immediately disclosing of  those things that would arouse pride in himself or envy in others.23

And also, there’s discernment in this approach. Look at verse 8.

8 The ransom of a man’s life is his wealth, but a poor man hears no threat. 

There are advantages to being poor. Jesus also said, “Blessed are the poor” (cf. Luke 6:20). There is a  biblical principle of mo’ money; mo’ problems.24 And one of the disadvantages of an ostentatious display of  wealth is that you make yourself vulnerable to thieves and swindlers and violence.25

Look at verse 9.

9 The light of the righteous rejoices, but the lamp of the wicked will be put out. 

10 By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom.26

4

The Hebrew word for “insolence” is וןֹדָז] zādôn]. It’s a word that means “insolence” or “arrogance” or  “pride.”27 Obadiah used that word to describe the pride-filled Edomites who loftily sat in their rock fortresses  and thought that they were untouchable. Obadiah reads, “The pride [וןֹדָז [of your heart has deceived you, you  who live in the clefts of the rock, in your lofty dwelling, who say in your heart, ‘Who will bring me down to the  ground?’ Though you soar aloft like the eagle, though your nest is set among the stars, from there I will bring  you down, declares the LORD. (3–4).” The reason that pride is so strongly denounced in the Bible isn’t just  because it’s an affront to others, ultimately, it’s an affront to God. It’s a form of insolence. 

Not to mention the fact that it’s ridiculous. If you really know how awesome and fantastic the God of  the Universe is and how miserably infinitesimal you are compared to him, the last thing that you would  ever manifest is pride. The Bible doesn’t just denounce pride because it’s insolent. It also denounces it  because it’s ludicrous. 

10 By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice [i.e. “with those who are humble and teachable” there] is  wisdom. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Write this down as #3. Humility trains the tongue. It fosters sober-mindedness. Also… 3) Humility promotes patience (13:11–19)

Solomon says in verse 11, 

11 Wealth gained hastily28 will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.

When we lived in Chicago, Sanja worked for this trust company downtown. And let me tell you,  there are some “trust-fund babies” out there that are a piece of work. And sometimes they can’t access  their assets until they reach a certain age—18 or 21. But when you give an 18-year-old who doesn’t know  how to work gobs of money, nothing good comes of that.29

My Granddaddy Caffey used to run this oil business in West Texas. And at first, he was making  money hand over fist. But if you know anything about the oil industry, you know that there is boom, and  there is bust. And you’ve got to have the discipline to put money away when it’s rolling in, so that you can  survive when money is scarce. And my grandad struggled with that. His company went belly up.  There’s wisdom. There’s hard work. And there’s patience. Those go together. 

… whoever gathers little by little will increase it.

Look at verse 12.

12 Hope deferred makes the heart30 sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. 

That sounds like Shakespeare, doesn’t it? Well if “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” Solomon  says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” What does that mean? By the way, this is the only place in the  entire OT where the heart is described as sick.31 The Hebrew indicates literal illness or a disease. 

But we’re not talking about heart disease and cholesterol. We’re talking about the metaphysical sickness  that comes when you strive for something and never attain it. That job promotion that never materializes at  work. That pregnancy test that keeps coming back negative. Those marriage prospects that keep fizzling out.  That family member that you keep praying will come to Christ, but it seems like they are getting farther from 

5

the gospel not closer. There are things in this life that make our hearts hurt. And you might wonder why doesn’t  God just give us what we desperately long for?

Why doesn’t he? I don’t know. But I do know this—one of the things that God teaches his children is  patience. That’s not my best thing. And if all we ever got in this world was instant gratification, we would be  shallow, selfish, ungrateful people.

I’ve often wondered, “Lord, when people get saved, why not just beam them up to heaven? Why  do we have to stay here in this fallen world full of darkness and depravity?” Well, we’ve got work to do.  And much of that work is hard. It requires patience. It’s full of heartbreak. And we deal with the  suffering of aging as we get older. And then we die slow, painful deaths. Aren’t you glad you came to  church this morning? 

But then there are moments in life where we get a little foretaste of eternity. Someone gets saved.  A baby is born. A church is planted. A couple gets married. Kids graduate from high school, and they get  a job, and they pay for their own car insurance. I can’t wait for that desire to be fulfilled. Look at verse 13. 

13 Whoever despises the word32 brings destruction on himself, but he who reveres the commandment33 will be rewarded.34

Speaking of living a good life in this fallen world, you better be familiar with this book. You better  know the Word of God and his commandments. If you reject this Word, you are the author of your own  destruction. 

Verse 14 says,

14 The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death.35

“Pastor Tony, is that talking about death in this life or death in the afterlife?” Yes! Listen your  “best life now”… I hate that phrase, by the way… but your “best life now” is preparation for eternity. And Jesus  came to give you eternal life. He came to make you the best version of yourself right now. He came to allow a  measure of peace and joy and love and grace that is unachievable apart from him right now! 

But that is a foretaste. Those are the appetizers to something else that lasts forever. What we experience  right now are the hors d'oeuvres to the great banquet of eternity, where we will dine with Jesus at the marriage  supper of the Lamb. And we will walk the streets of gold in the New Jerusalem. And we will eat of the tree of  life, for real, not metaphorically (cf. 13:12). And there will be no more sin. No more death. No more sickness.  No more pain. No more aging. No more conflict. No more trips to the dentist. No more MRIs. No more  echocardiograms. No more x-ray machines. No more colonoscopies. 

Where was I? O yeah. Patience. Look at verse 15.

15 Good sense wins favor, but the way of the treacherous is their ruin. 

16 Every prudent man acts with knowledge,36 but a fool flaunts his folly. 

17 A wicked messenger37 falls into trouble, but a faithful envoy brings healing.38

18 Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is honored. 

19 A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul, but to turn away from evil is an abomination to fools.39

There it is, again in verse 19. There is “a desire fulfilled,” just like in verse 12.40 The word for “desire”  here is the Hebrew הָוֲא ַּת) taʾawâ). Interestingly, it’s the same word that was used of Eve when that serpent in the  Garden got her to doubt God’s goodness. And she looked upon that tree of the knowledge of good and evil with  “desire.”41 Desires can be good, and they can be evil. 

And the assumption built into verse 19 is that we are talking about a good desire. A good desire, when it  is fulfilled, is sweet to the soul. You might say “fulfilled” by whom?42 Well that is what’s called a divine  passive verb. It’s an oblique reference to God, the rightful fulfiller of all our desires. Paul says in 1 Timothy that God has richly given us all things to enjoy (6:17). And for those in this world who aren’t given good things  to enjoy, don’t you worry, God knows how to reward that in the world to come. God is no man’s debtor. He  knows what he’s doing. 

And I have this conviction, that Christians should be the most patient, the most understanding,  the most humble, the most content people in the world. Because we believe in God’s sovereignty. And we  believe that God is going to sort it all out in the end. And besides that, we have this thing called the fruit  of the Spirit. And one of the fruits is “Love, joy, peace… patience.”43

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So humility trains the tongue. It fosters sober mindedness. It promotes patience. And finally, write  this down as #4.

4) Humility blesses others (13:20–25)

Solomon says in verse 20, 

20 Whoever walks44 with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.45

7

One commentator stated it this way, “A fool he ends that fool befriends.”46 Like attracts like. And a  man (or woman) who surrounds himself (or herself) with foolish people will suffer harm. That doesn’t mean  that we don’t spend time with sinners as Christians. Jesus was accused of being a winebibber. He frequented the  houses of the grimy tax collectors in his day. But he didn’t imbibe their ways. He influenced them. They didn’t  influence him. And to the extent that you can do that, you should.

Nevertheless we need to be careful as Christians. I am always leery of the Christian who says, “I  like spending time with unbelievers rather than believers.” That never turns out good in my experience.  Jesus was able to rub shoulders with sinful people and not be affected by them. Let me just state the  obvious—you ain’t Jesus. And we need people in our lives who are wiser than us… who are godlier than  us… who know the Scriptures better than us… who can disciple us. 

“Why? Why Pastor Tony?” Because “whoever walks with the wise becomes wise.”

Look at verse 21.

21 Disaster pursues sinners, but the righteous are rewarded47 with good. 

22 A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children,48 but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous. 

Now I’m thankful for this statement, because it qualifies what I said earlier about “trust-fund babies.”  You might ask, “Is the inheritance mentioned here financial or otherwise, Pastor Tony.” Well it’s both. The best  inheritance my grandparents gave me has nothing to do with finances. But it’s not wrong to set aside some  money for your kids and your grandkids. In fact, there’s a blessing that can be bestowed in that.  Sanja’s parents left some money for Alastair’s college fund before they died, and that’s a blessing  to him and to us. The money that they saved and set aside for that was extremely costly. They weren’t  wealthy or poor. What they were was hard-working! And they put themselves in a position where they  could bless others because of their hard work and savings. 

Now, this next statement is a little cynical. But it needs to be said.

23 The fallow ground of the poor49 would yield much food, but it is swept away through injustice.50

Some people are poor because of laziness and a bad work ethic. But some people are poor because of  bad governance and injustice.51 Can the wealth of the people really be impacted by good or bad governance?  You better believe it can!52

8

If my father-in-law was born in the United States, with his work ethic, he would have been a  millionaire by the age of 30. But he was born into the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia. And that  country was rife with corruption and injustice. It wasn’t as bad as some countries, but it was bad.

Here’s the reality that Solomon touches on in this verse. This is one of the few hints of realism in the  book of Proverbs. Solomon’s cynicism and realism get an upgrade in the book of Ecclesiastes, but it’s present  here too. The reality is this. Sometimes crooked governments and crooked people bring about poverty through  injustice. Welcome to reality. It’s a product of the fall. 

And that’s one of the ways that humility can be a blessing to others. If you have rulers who are humble  and put the needs of the people above their own, that produces a social good. If you have rulers who govern  well and bless the people, that honors God. But too often kings and leaders get promoted in this world, and all  they do is look out for #1. That’s not a modern-day phenomenon, that’s as old as sin in the OT.  Speaking of blessing others, this is a little counterintuitive, but look at verse 24.

24 Whoever spares the rod53 hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. 

I have this friend whose parents took this paddle, and they engraved the word “the rod” on that  paddle. And they hung it up in his house when he was little. And whenever he would act up, they would  motion towards that paddle and say, “Do I need to get the rod!” That’s a good idea, parents.

I have another friend who went to Six Flags with his parents, and his parents actually bought a  spanking paddle at Six Flags—the happiest place on earth. What’s wrong with those parents? Look, I don’t want to spend a lot of time on this, but this needs to be said. Kids need discipline. It’s not  something you want to do wrong. But it is something that you must do! Some kids need spankings, done  appropriately, not in anger, but in love.54 Some kids need timeouts. Some kids need rebuking and chastening.  All kids need some combination of those things. Except for my sister, she didn’t need spankings, she just  needed my dad to express disappointment with her and that was enough. I needed more than that.55 And isn’t it interesting in Scripture that it’s not the father who indulges his child who loves him, it’s  the father who disciplines him.56 Why does God discipline us? Why does God punish our sinfulness? Why  does God not answer our prayers as soon as we pray them? Because God loves us. And he knows that self indulgent kids who get everything they want every time they ask for it get messed up! And we extrapolate from  that the way that a father, and a mother, should lead and nurture their children. 

And just for good measure, Solomon writes in verse 25,

25 The righteous has enough to satisfy his appetite, but the belly of the wicked suffers want.57

9

The righteous and the wicked. Have we seen those terms before in Proverbs? As we see in chapter 13,  one of the manifestations of righteousness isn’t just right behavior, it’s also right thinking. It’s an attitude of  humility that is evidenced by a teachable spirit. And, as a truism, the humble, teachable, righteous person, is  satisfied. 

But the prideful person is a wicked person. And God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble. The Apostle Peter says it this way, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the  proper time he may exalt you” (1 Pet 5:6). 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’ll close with this. There is a sense in which there’s no way for you to truly become a Christian  until you humble yourself. In other words, Christianity is antithetical to pride. Becoming a Christian is  the ultimate display of humility not pride. And here’s why I say that. The gift of salvation is free, but it’s  a loaded gift. It’s a gift that insults the recipient of the gift.

Let me explain. Here’s how the theologian John Gerstner illustrates it. Let’s say that someone  comes up to you and offers you a Christmas present. You say, “Thank you so much,” and then open it up  and it’s a bottle of mouthwash.” Now you have two options at this point. 1) You can throw that gift back  in the person’s face, or 2) You can humble yourself. You can admit your predicament. You can say, “Yes,  I have bad breath. Thank you for this gift. I’ll use it.”58

Similarly, with the gospel, part of accepting the free gift of salvation is admitting something. It’s  admitting, “I’ve got a problem. I’ve got a sin problem.” And you humbly receive the remedy for your sin.  It’s a free gift, but it’s a loaded gift. Are you humble enough to receive the gospel? Are you humble  enough to admit your need for a Savior? Jesus said, “Blessed are the meek.”

And this is the struggle that most of us are experiencing right now, those of you who are saved,  followers of Christ. The struggle is this—we’ve got to be humble enough to admit our ongoing need for a  Savior! We’ve got spiritual halitosis, you might say.

So part of our sanctification process is repeatedly saying, “Lord, I’m a saved follower of yours. But  I’ve still got bad breath… I stink, and I need your help.” And the beauty of this thing called Christianity is  that God has resources available to us. God has grace available to us. He is able to help us. But “God  opposes the proud!” “He gives grace to the humble!” “Humble yourself, therefore, under the mighty hand of  God so that he may lift you up.”

Taught by Tony Caffey

Senior Pastor of Verse By Verse Fellowship

Proverbs